Part Two: Meeting Good People Under Bad Circumstances, 1

“Ey yo Countryman!”

Riley’s neighbor Henry ‘Ford’ Floyd popped out up from underneath the hood of his truck. He was a skinny middle-aged man with a farmer’s tan, and a perpetually sunburned bald head. The peeling skin looked like tufts of curly hair. He had a spark plug in his mouth and a timing chain slung around his shoulders.

“Howdy Fordie.” Riley nodded. “Another late night stroke of genius?”

“Pure inspiration pardner. I dunno where it comes from.” He noticed blood all over Riley’s chin. His shirt was torn from Longhorn dragging him onto the sidewalk.“Who we killing, Countryman?”

“No one ever, brother. I took care of it. You keep working on the Mark 27. Or whatever Mark you’re up to.”

“Calling this one Mark 69!” Fordie hollered with a toothy grin.

“Hope I live to see Mark 420.” Riley sauntered down his neighborhood whistling tunes from Conan the Barbarian. His feet knew all the cracks in the sidewalk. The feather was still in his hair.

He heard boys roughhousing in his Dad’s friend’s backyard. The jeering and cursing were getting out of hand. He turned the corner and saw two kids making a real show of fighting one another, shoving and slapping half heartedly while nine other boys egged them on. Riley stood at his full 6’6” with his arms crossed. They broke up the fight as soon as they noticed him, saving the little pugilists from further embarrassment.

“Did Michael put you guys up to this?” Michael threw his arms out, appalled. Riley’s little brother played with Michael when they were younger. He was a rumor spreader who got his kicks pitting other boys against each other. To their credit, none of them snitched. Seeing good kids act out worried Riley about his siblings. He told the boys go home, then hurried along himself.

The Countryman residence’s wear and tear made it more welcoming. It looked homey and lived-in, like a pair of trusty old boots or a beloved stuffed animal with matted fur and one of its button-eyes hanging on by a loose thread. The family jalopy was in the driveway. The twins’ rusty tricycle was in the yard. It was his once. Leo’s after that. It was a sore spot for their sister Dakota, the only one who never got a turn.

The front door opened into the living room. There was a couch with sunken cushions, nicotine stained curtains, and a window boarded up with moldy cardboard that Riley put a baseball through when he was seven. They had a boxy old TV on the floor that didn’t get cable, a DVD player beside it, and a bunch of DVDs from the library scattered around. The stained carpet was cratered with indentations from old furniture. Dad wasn’t in his chair. Riley didn’t hear him at the kitchen table either, where he usually poured over paperwork.

He took a long step over the mountain of shoes by the front door. They were countless, in various states of wear and tear—worn backs from being kicked off, dirty and frayed laces, holes in the soles, soles coming off, scuffs, tears, floppy tongues. Some of them were taped together and no one knew which pair belonged to who. Hand-me-downs from siblings and neighbors, none of them fit anyone. They had their jobs. They served the Countryman family and multiplied. They couldn’t afford to throw any away.

It was suspiciously quiet. Suddenly, there was an avalanche of outerwear. A young man burst out from beneath the many jackets and sweaters hanging on the wall. Riley stepped out of the way, grabbed him by the arm, then slammed him onto the doormat. Sneakers flew everywhere.

It didn’t make the house noticeably messier.

“Get good, Leo,” Riley said, as his brother laughed hysterically. “Heard you at the last second.”

“FUCK dude I have been hanging there for HOURS. My fingers are BLISTERED and I am SWEATING but it was WORTH IT. I almost got your ass. I will be the older brother one day.” Leo was all smiles. He understood the fun in losing. He needed braces. Riley was sad he’d never get them.

Riley offered him his hand. Leo took it—the fool—and as soon as he was on his feet Riley pulled him into a grapple. Leo anticipated this and positioned himself to resist it. Riley acknowledged with a nod. They gave each other a stern look and yelled,

VIGILANCE. ALWAYS.”

A firm handshake, and the ritual was complete.

“Where is everyone?” Riley asked.

“I dunno, I’ve been under coats.”

“’Vigilance Always, Leo!’ You’re second oldest. I bet Sitting Dog is with the twins, or else he would’ve tried to tackle me too. But in a nice way, you fuck.”

“Oh yeah it’s a wild night! Oh no aaahhh spooky wind! Its a stupidstition dude, everyone is fine. Saw you had a wild night with the Alfalfa Street Longhorn though.”

“Why does everyone else know who that is?” Riley said, walking past the walk-in closet Dakota took over. Everything they used to store in bulk, like soap and cans, was taking up their whole kitchen counter so that she could have ‘privacy.’ He thought it was a lot of trouble just so she could listen to music in the dark.

“Longhorn’s a LEGEND dude! He rules! Poets write verse of his Mighty Charge.” Leo held his hands on the side of his head like horns. “You were dancing around him like a matador. Real Bugs Bunny, spirit of the trickster shit. Where’d you find a red cape?”

“It was someone’s rug. We uh, ran through a lot of houses. Listen—he and I worked things out, that’s the important thing. His wife left him this morning. We sung breakup songs together, and a whole crowd joined us. We were all singing and crying and healing. It was magical.”

“Riley Charisma,” Leo said.

“And then his wife came back!”

“Yeah, she always does,” Leo said. “Don’t you know anything?”

Riley saw the twins, Virginia and West Virginia, in the backyard standing side by side. They were posing with one arm pointing towards the sky and the other parallel to the ground. They were completely still. They were five.

Sitting Dog, a large black mutt, was watching them intently. He looked at Riley, then at the twins, then back to Riley, lowering his ears as if to say, “what do I do about this?”

Riley pet him. “Good boy. Let me handle it from here. Hey! Why aren’t you little Oompa-Loompas in bed?”

“We’re playing Satellite,” Virginia said matter-of-factly. As if it were obvious.

“Oh, of course. My bad. What kinds of frequencies you picking up?”

“Well, there was a man who was very mad,” West Virginia began, “and a woman who was very, very sad.” Virginia tilted his head and shushed her.

“Alright well, can you send messages back?” Riley asked.

The twins lit up, then commiserated with an elaborate series of facial gestures only they understood. Riley waited. He preferred how he and Leo communicated. With their fists. Like men.

“We can try,” West Virginia said, eventually.

“Tell them to calm down and keep their chins up. Things get better.”

“What about Daddy?” Virginia said. West Virginia shushed him.

“The… situation surrounding him will get better,” Riley said. “He’s got us, after all.”

The twins stopped responding to him, seemingly absorbed in being satellites. Which didn’t talk, they realized. At least not how people do. Riley asked Sitting Dog to hold it down outside for a little longer. The loyal vassal borfed his assent, always willing to serve his family.

“Can’t wait for them to develop personalities in a couple years, so I can relate to them,” Riley said inside.

“Yeah itsa big age gap anyway bro check it out I was working on the project while you were at work and I came up with some dope designs and yo look at how BUFFthis dude is,” Leo rattled on, holding his sketchbook out to Riley. “I was insanely productive dude. I just kept having great ideas and I think I got better at drawing anatomy. Then I had the coat hanger idea and I kinda stopped. Anyway dude check these out. They’re sick.”

“I know they are bro, but hold on.” Riley knocked on their parents’ door.

Tamaqua ‘Tom’ Countryman was propped up on his orthopedic pillow. He winced when he rolled over to look at Riley. “Sorry,” he said, for laying down. “I managed to fill out some forms.” He grimaced in pain as he reached towards the paperwork beside him.

“Ey take it easy Dad. Oh,” he pulled an envelope from his pocket, “I also got this.” He tossed it with the other papers, trying to be low key to avoid the usual song and dance.

It didn’t work.

“Oh, Riley, No. It’s my job to provide for this family. This is your money.”

“Ah come on, you been providing for me for twenty years. Grown men pay rent.” Riley had been bringing money home since he was sixteen.

“No, no.” He put up a hand. “You should save. Get ready to start your own family.”

“Already got one,” Riley said. A single tear came to Tom’s eye. “Ah come on Dad, you look like someone just littered. I’d rather work a double every day of my life than deal with your paperwork.”

There was a fat stack of documents he needed to fill out and mail for disability benefits. Dates, pay rates, work history, expenses, and dependents. He had to list what groceries they bought, with receipts, and the names of all his kids’ teachers. Had to be 100% accurate down to seconds and decimals, and submitted every week at the same time. One mistake or one millisecond late meant your family didn’t eat that week. Then he had to do it all again for food stamps and healthcare. Requirements changed frequently with no communication. Once they were denied benefits because he forgot to dot an i. Their tribal status complicated things further. Years ago Tom tried to supersede tribal regulations, getting himself in trouble with the state and the reservation. Now everything was harder.

There were also sweepstakes applications. Every bag, flashlight, mug, or tool set he won was another thing they didn’t have to buy. Every object in their home had some company’s logo on.

“The middle-men and bureaucrats need to line their pockets,” Dad said bitterly.

“The spirits aren’t with us,” Riley said. This seemed to calm his Dad. It was Native American for win some, lose some. It was practicing acceptance. Tom picked it up in AA.

“Where’s Mom?” Riley asked. Tom looked guilty and ashamed—which meant she was still at work. “Wild Night. She’ll have some crazy stories from the hospital. Nina’s in her hole?”

Dad sighed. “I heard her come home, so I assume? Don’t know where else she’d be.” Tom wished she could have a proper bedroom. Riley wished she’d stop hiding from the rest of the family. None of the other siblings had privacy. Tom noticed Riley getting angry and waved his hand. “She’s 15. It’ll pass.”

Riley stomped over to her closet door. “Come out from under your rock. Maybe say hello? Maybe check on your injured father, see if he needs anything?” Tom winced to hear his infirmity acknowledged. Riley waited for a sarcastic comment. When it didn’t come he gestured to Leo, who was making some final touches on his latest sketches.

“She home?” Riley asked.

Leo shrugged. “I mean I assumed.”

“Dude… did anyone fucking check?”


Philip K Dude

Ellis stared out the window, fully lost in the view.

It was his first time in a city. It wasn’t like pictures he’d seen of New York or Chicago. There was only one skyscraper, an ominous jet-black eyesore with two ‘arms’ that jut out from either side in an affront to gravity and good taste, making it look like a cactus. It was surrounded by medium-sized buildings, all black against the setting sun. Lifeless obelisks. He gazed at the smallest buildings, with lights on—with people in them. The little one or two story buildings sprawled infinitely into the horizon. They were shades of red, brown, and tan. Colors that are boring, but warm.

Ellis was so consumed thinking about all those people that he didn’t notice the preacher going off again at full volume, with a tiny self-satisfied grin. He thought Ellis was pretending to ignore him.

The sound of the brakes snapped Ellis out of his head. The train made an abrupt stop and he cringed as his CDs and cassettes clattered onto the floor.

People shot up, joining the crowd already at the door. Ellis sensed a great and infectious urgency. He knew there was gonna be a stampede the second the doors opened. He didn’t expect anyone to help the grumpy weirdo who took up two seats with his junk, especially after he made a scene. That was the down side of making himself scary.

The doors opened. He waited for the inevitable distressing sound of a jewel case cracking. The crowd cleared and he was alone with the preacher and a teenage girl with a black wolf cut she obviously did herself. Both of them were gathering Ellis’ stuff.

She reminded him of Tara. Ellis imagined this new girl crying about her hair, cutting it off in a manic fit. It would look so good, it would fix everything. Suddenly regret, mourning. Self-hatred for being stupid and self-pity for not having money for a stylist. Everyone else gets to look pretty.

She looked bewildered by Ellis’ CDs. He had eccentric taste, to put it nicely. A pop culture illiterate who grew up without TV or internet access, he lacked context for things and was only dimly aware of genre. His collection ranged from decidedly uncool pop music, some of which was for children, to independent punk bands and obscure prog-rock groups of which he was the only living fan.

He noticed they were wearing the same T-Shirt. It was black, with a graphic of a face bisected vertically. One side was a skull, the other was a Cheshire-cat style grin. It was Ellis’ favorite shirt, evidenced by the wear and tear. And the odor. The logo was fading, so he didn’t wash it unless he hadto. And he had to.

This was his chance. He felt excitement and nerves swell in his chest. He almost stepped on one of his own CDs as he approached her. “Hey,” none of his excitement reached his face. “You know this band?”

“Nope. Just happen to have their shirt.”

“Can you name any of their songs?” She gave him an incredulous look, shoved him his things, then disappeared into the rapidly thinning crowd. “Wait what did I do?” He actually just happened to have their shirt. Took it from a thrift store because it looked like a logo a cool band would have. There weren’t any record stores in Okonkwo and he couldn’t find anything by googling, ‘skull smile logo band,’ on the library computer.

“You are guileless,” the preacher said.

“Forgot about you,” Ellis snapped out of his grief and confusion. “Put my shit down.”

The preacher raised an elegant eyebrow at Ellis. “Are you serious?”

You’re not. You’re just trying to look like the bigger man.”

The preacher stood erect and moved close to Ellis, as if to demonstrate that he was, in fact, bigger. “Do you hate the word of the lord so much that you’d spite yourself?”

“No opinion on the lord, but I don’t like you. You’re not supposed to be loud on the train. And you called me the devil!”

“I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to the Devil speaking through you.”

“Who was speaking through you? The fucking… annoying demon?” Ellis was not good with words. He considered that a virtue.

“I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt, and assume that was also the Devil talking.” He smiled condescendingly. “No creature of God is this graceless.”

“DOOR CLOSING,” came over the speakers, and they rushed through the doors, each carrying half of Ellis’ stuff.

“I said put it down,” Ellis commanded. He placed it in a neat pile at Ellis’ feet.

“Peace be with you,” he nodded and walked away.

“Yeah, maybe now that you’re gone,” Ellis called out.

He got no satisfaction from having the last word. He stayed mad while he fixated on his things counted everything six times, then looked up and noticed his surroundings. The station platform was a gray slab of cracked concrete. None of the streetlights worked except for one that was bent, leaning over the train tracks and swaying in the wind. The caution tape around its base was old and worn.

There were a bunch of homeless people sitting together in a big pile, like a single organism in the dim light that coughed and shuffled lethargically. That’s why everyone climbed over each other to disperse. People couldn’t stand seeing the homeless. It was a grim reminder of the edge they were on. Ellis wasn’t afraid to confront the moral nightmare. It made him feel superior to the people who ran.

The nearby businesses had LED signs that shone dimly through layers of dust and car exhaust. There was a gun store, a fried liver ‘n gizzard joint, a military recruitment center, a non-denominational Christian church sharing a building with a cowboy-themed bar, a phone repair place, and a tax agency. There were a lot of shuttered buildings. The sidewalk was littered with broken old A-frames with faint, illegible remnants from chalk-markers. The phone place was called CRACKS KILL—THE GLASS MASTERS. A man in a racist Native American mascot costume was sitting on the curb in front of Trail of Taxes accounting. Open 24 hours. He caught Ellis looking at him and weakly held up his sign. Ellis gave him a little wave. He didn’t look like the kind of person who did taxes. He wasn’t sure if the government knew he existed.

He could still see that humongous cactus in the distance. It was blacker than the night sky. He was always dimly aware of it, like he could see it no matter which direction he faced.

One of the homeless women scratched at an angry, wet scab covering her whole cheek. Ellis began ruminating on its color and texture. He imagined it on his arms, inside his mouth, and on his genitals. Her asking him for a hug. Crying, needy for affection and attention and desperately self-conscious.

What if Dallas didn’t show? He looked at the addicts—he wouldn’t be the first person that scumbag put outside. Wouldn’t be the first time he had to sleep outside either. Sometimes his Mom would tell him to spend the night at a friends’ house and he had to pretend he had any. Well, any with homes he was welcome in.

He noticed a drug deal in a nearby parking lot. He knew better than to look. The wind was incessant. It wasn’t cold, but it felt weird on his skin and it made him antsy. What if that was Dallas selling drugs? What if he was still a gangster and this was all an elaborate ruse to press Ellis into a gang? He tried to covertly look at the men. What if they saw? What if they thought he was a cop? What if the scab woman tried to kiss someone, and collapsed into hysterics when they refused, incapable of understanding why no one loved her? He kept glancing over at her. Seeing her grounded Ellis in reality. His thoughts were worse.

“You shouldn’t stareat people,” came a gruff voice.

The man was average height with a thickly muscled upper body and a bit of a hunch. He wore a tight white t-shirt, gray sweatpants, socks with sandals, and a black choker.

Ellis kept quiet and glared at him.

“I’d be careful about making that face, kid. You don’t look tough, you look petulant and self-pitying. Kinda like my kid when we make her eat broccoli. Might scare some people, but it’ll piss off the wrong guy.” The man got in Ellis’ face, and Ellis noticed he wasn’t wearing a choker—it was a neck tattoo. Black text around his throat that read:

I’mthe wrong guy.

Ellis dropped his box on Lester’s foot and threw a punch. Lester swung his elbow in the way of Ellis’ jab and he felt his knuckles explode. Ellis swung with his other arm and Lester let it connect to make a point.

“Quick to violence and weak as shit. You’re definitely Dallas’ brother.”

Ellis stepped back. “Are you his enemy?”

“Yeah,” Lester said.

“I barely know the guy. Haven’t seen him in a decade. Your beef has nothing to do with me.”

“That’s not how this works. I beat up his brother, it’s an insult. Word gets around. He’s an image-obsessed narcissist. He’d retaliate quick—emotional and sloppy.”

“I see,” Ellis rubbed his knuckles. “Fuck that. If you don’t like someone go after them. Don’t hurt people who have nothing to do with it.”

“I didn’t ask you shit,” Lester said.

“I didn’t ask you shit.” Ellis looked around for stuff to throw. Bricks, loose concrete, broken glass, that’s how he dealt with stronger guys. Every trash heap was a secret weapons cache.

“You drop something? I don’t have all night kid.” He did, though.

“Hold on.” Ellis abandoned his luggage and dashed to the homeless people.

One man was still awake and upright. “You gonna fuck that guy up?”

“Yes.” Ellis said, holding out a five-dollar bill. “Do you have a used needle? Even a broken one?”

“Pfft shit man, yeah.” He fished through his pockets on the many jackets he was wearing. Ellis kept glancing at Lester. “Fucking EMT punk narcan’d me yesterday.”

“Were you overdosing?”

Yes motherfucker it ruled. I was fine! The shit’s in my system still, so I can’t get high. What else am I supposed to do out here?”

“Drink?”

“No way dude. I’m ten months sober.”

“Oh. Congrats dude,” Ellis said. The guy gave him a broken needle with a bent tip for five dollars. He had the phrase scumbag written on his knuckles. Ellis trotted back to his luggage, holding the needle out in front of him. He held it out to show Lester.

“Kid what the fuck are you doing.”

“You can probably kick my ass, but if you try, I will stab you with this needle. It’s used. Could be infected, probably isn’t, but at the very least you’re gonna wanna to get tested. Is it worth the hospital bill? The long line at the clinic? The anxiety, the sleepless nights?”

“Put that down kid,” Lester said. This was escalating and his face was getting hot. “Dallas is busy, so I’m picking you up for him.”

“But you’re his enemy,” Ellis said.

“We’re both too tired for that. Let’s go.”

“You threatened me.”

“Welcome to Sincoke.”

“Those people were very nice,” Ellis pointed to the homeless. They waved at him, lethargically. He felt buyer’s remorse about the needle. “Listen, I don’t know who the fuck you are and I’m not going anywhere with you.”

Lester stifled a curse. He heard America in his mind. Blowing up isn’t ‘letting off steam,’ it’s indulgent and addictive. He thought about calling Dallas but he remembered the piece of crap was on a stakeout. Then he remembered his phone bricked. He did not stifle that curse. He fished around in his pocket for his business card. His pockets were full of torn-up receipts. His fingers were always restless.

“Here, kid.” He tried to toss the card to Ellis but the wind blew it onto the tracks. Lester groaned and jumped down to retrieve it, but it blew away every time he got close to it.

“Shut up!” He pointed at Ellis, who hadn’t said anything. “Just wait a fucking minute.”

“What if the train comes?”

“I’ll jump in front of it,” Lester growled. He finally got the card and leapt onto the platform. He was red in the face and a little light-headed. He stomped over to Ellis, who held his needle defensively, and held the card out forcefully.

Avia Investigative Detective Services

Lester Guerra

“Your name is Lester?”

“Your brother’s business is called AIDS but you make a smart comment aboutmy name?”

“You work for my brother?”

“With. I work with your brother.”

“Dallas is a detective now?” Ellis eyed the card, then Lester, suspiciously.

“What do you need, two fucking cards?” Lester felt Ellis didn’t trust him because of how he looked. Kid should look in a mirror. Then it hit him. Dallas is a detective now, the kid said. He knew what his brother was before. Of course he was scared.

Lester relaxed his posture but couldn’t soften his permanent mean mug. “Dallas took a road trip awhile ago. Did some volunteer work, hung out with Shaolin monks or something. His personality is exactly the same, and he still breaks the law, but he’s…” Lester couldn’t believe this was coming out of his mouth, “not a bad guy anymore.”

“Shaolin monks?”

“Or whatever they’re called.”

“What was he doing with them?”

“I dunno. Blowing them. Come on. There’s a Starbucks with a safe needle deposit. Don’t want your little stunt to kill a sanitation worker.”

Ellis didn’t have any other options. And he’d never been to Starbucks. Maybe if he stared at the menu without saying anything, Lester would buy him something. The goon walked ahead of him, leaving Ellis to carry all of his boxes with his swollen hand. So probably not.


“How would you do this guy in the Soviet Union?” Dallas asked Dzerassae as they walked along the road, through a neighborhood with no sidewalks.

Dzerassae was quiet. She got dismissive or cranky when she didn’t want to answer a question. She considered her words carefully when she did, and the pregnant pauses gave her words impact.

“Spare me the ancient wisdom,” Dallas grinned at her. “I don’t need a life lesson. Off the cuff. How would you ice–”

“I must translate words in my head,” she spat. Dallas held up his hands in apology. They were a conspicuous duo; Dallas in a purple three-piece suit with a pistol at his belt, grinning like an idiot because he loved stake outs. Dzerassae in her white gown, headscarf, and combat boots, with a belt across her chest strapped with knives. “Men like Zengrel are adaptive. In United States, he become investor capitalist. In Soviet Russia, he become party man.”

“They should let me run the country. Everyone would be free under my thumb! You know what I would do with guys like him?” He pulled out his gun and pointed it downward, like he was aiming at a man on his knees. Pedestrians crossed to the other side of the road.

Dzerassae swiftly disarmed him with a practiced maneuver, and hid the gun in her shawls.

Dallas rubbed his wrist. “We gotta sneak you into Z’s house. What would you cut off first with those daggers? His freaky lil’ thang?”

“I am done being part of organization that sneak into homes and kills,” she chastised him. “I try to teach you self restraint, subtlety. We need to keep low profile.”

“I fit in just fine. This is Sincoke, grandma. Ten thousand times as many guns as people.”

“You dress too extravagant.”

“Because I like color? We’re going to the rich pedophile district. Everyone is dressed like Willy Wonka. I fit right in with my style.” Dallas got quiet and introspectively. “Do I dress like a rich pedophile? Z, you know I have proletarian values.”

Dzerassae nodded sincerely. “You do not like exploitation. You value camaraderie.”

“That doesn’t mean I have to wear overalls right? I can appropriate colorful menswear. I mean, I slept in this suit. On the floor of my office. That’s salt of the Earth. Salt of the floor. I woke up next my own boot print. That should get me a pass on the ol’ calloused hand check.”

“But does fop suit help detective work? They recognizable,” Dzerassae waggled a finger.

“If they’re focused on my style, they ain’t focused on my face.” She seemed satisfied. “And what about you? You look like a Bene Gesserit.”

“Pah! No one pay attention to old lady.” Dzerassae stooped forward a little bit and put a bit of a hobble in her walk. “You see?! Like I disappear.”

Dallas raised his eyebrows in appreciation, and stared ahead as they walked. Dzerassae took his silence as him pondering the questions she posed, before disappointing her with more violent posturing. “I know you’re not a full pacifist old friend. If we broke into Z’s house—oh shit, you’re Z, he needs a new nickname—but if you had a clean shot on him you would do it right? Come ooonn.” He gestured with finger guns.

Dzerassae got quiet once again. Dallas rolled his eyes. More ancient wisdom incoming.

“In Soviet Union, like United States, places of power fill with men like him. Killing change nothing. You are not thug anymore. I am not secret police. We are detectives. We still move through shadows, but only to cast light. We stake out house. We see who go in, who go out. Use that as leverage to obtain more information on victims. We are here to save children, not kill men.”

“As long as he’s alive he’ll just keep doing it. Finding victims is great. Sure. But AIDS isn’t about hording blackmail. That would just make us the CIA.”

“You spoke to mothers,” Dzerassae said. “You promise them closure. Not revenge.”

“Just satisfy me. From a pure, irrational, emotional perspective, you would totally blow this guy’s brains out right? I need to know that warm blood runs through you,” Dallas said. “Don’t overthink this. Just be a human. How would you do it? Would you say some cool shit like, ‘this is for the people’?”

She narrowed her thin lips. “In old country, we would make public,” She said grimly.

“There’s the old leftist,” Dallas grinned evilly. “Guillotine shit. Show everyone what happens to the bourgeois that get too crazy.”

“I am not one of revolutionaries who admire violence and authoritarianism. But sometimes, it can serve a purpose. A show.”

“Always the pragmatist,” Dallas said cockily. “Bread and roses and circuses.”

“I am not talking about Soviet Union. I am talking about Old Country. Village men would drag him to town square, victims and their families beat him.”

“I love that.” Dallas took a deep breath. “I want to inhale this visceral honesty and feel it course through my veins. Thank you, Z. God, Amy with all this therapy-speak and everyone with all the ‘responsibility,’ and, ‘ethics of vigilantism,’ shit. Sometimes your heart knows the path to righteousness.”

“How American.” She spat. “Hearts only know what hearts want. Not what is right.”


Ellis didn’t like Starbucks. The cafe was big enough to fit dozens of tables but they only had three. The bar counter was covered in cardboard ads so no one could sit there. It wasn’t a place for people, it was a place for laptops.

The baristas had hall monitor energy. They were assertive in an anxious, jumpy way, hiding behind the register and the espresso machines like they were castle walls. They shot pensive looks at Ellis and his boxes, like they were afraid he was moving in. Ellis clocked the supervisor, a chubby guy with a a scraggly beard and a wiry handlebar mustache, ready to spring into action and ask Ellis to buy something the second he sat down. If Ellis sat down in Antarctica, a penguin would ask him to buy something.

The supervisor switched places with the girl at the register when Lester approached.

“Code for the bathroom?” Lester said.

He started to make what Ellis called ‘policy face,’ the look of fake sympathy when someone is about to say sorry but no. Company policy. Wish I could. Nothing to be done. I don’t make the rules, I just abide by them and hold all people to them evenly. Swear to God.

Ellis could only see Lester’s back, but he sensed the threat of unruliness. Ellis was in awe. Everything about Lester projected that he was more trouble than its worth. No matter what ‘it’ was. He probably never paid four dollars for anything. He truly was the Wrong Guy.

“6969,” the supervisor said.

Lester yelled at Ellis for trying to take his boxes into the restroom. “Someone might throw it out,” Ellis said, “People throw my stuff out all the time.” Lester told him hurry up then. There were unshucked ears of corn stuffed behind the toilet. As if someone was trying to hide them. Like buried treasure.

“There was corn in there,” Ellis said said when he emerged. Lester shrugged and mouthed the words wild night. “I’ve never had Starbucks.” Ellis was making his bid. “Always wanted to try it. Have you?”

“I’m a QFS guy. Call us a ride. My phone… broke.”

“I don’t have a phone. And I don’t mind walking. Can you help me carry my stuff?”

Lester groaned through his teeth. He did some grounding exercises that America taught him. “Look, kid–”

“Ellis,” Ellis said indignantly.

Lester did grounding exercises again. “Sincoke is a car city. Everything is spread out. Lot of neighborhoods don’t have sidewalks, and public transit sucks shit. You gotta use the apps and get driven around by teachers, nurses and other people who can afford cars but not their student loans.”

“Where’s your car?”

“Look my license got revoked OK?”

Handlebars asked if he could help them with anything. The implication was: if not then get lost. Lester told him to call a cab.

“I’ve already been carrying this shit all day,” Ellis was worried he’d have to split the cost, “what’s another couple–”

“It’s not a safe night to be walking around,” Lester said. He didn’t feel like explaining wild nights, people who hadn’t experienced them never took him seriously. He knew they were real. He knew he wasn’t immune. He wanted to harass the supervisor until he was afraid to come back to work.

Ellis picked up on nervous energy from everyone around him. They were alert and apprehensive, anticipating an explosion. It reminded him of the tense silence after one of his Mom’s boyfriends slammed a door.


Dallas and Dzerassae walked towards Sincoke’s Black Cactus. Aside from the ostentatious, gravity-defying arms intended to make it look like a trident, it was no different from the other empty office buildings in Sincoke’s ghost-town of a business district.

They erected it during the tech boom that never happened, when App developers tried to make Sincoke the new Silicone Valley. It’s cheap, nothing’s regulated, and city leadership made it rain tax breaks and subsidies. But Sincoke had no talent, and talent wouldn’t move there. Some recent graduates and older engineers facing age discrimination showed up. Sincoke collected them and fed itself on their frustrated ambition and wasted ability. They all stocked shelves or drove Uber now.

Few people ever worked in the Black Cactus. It was plagued with problems. Ceilings leaked, entire floors were unfinished, and there were HVAC issues that left people coding in a black building under the hot Western sun without air conditioning. It was the focus of lurid conspiracy theories, chief among them that it was an intentional failure. Dallas and America looked into its funding. It was extremely opaque. They reckoned some real estate mogul from Texas or Seattle was making a lot of money on subsidies and write-offs.

It was a well-documented phenomenon that people experienced acute feelings of fatigue and hopelessness when they looked at it. Like staring at an eldritch abomination or being in a Walmart.

“Someone should 9/11 that thing,” Dallas said. “It’s an antennae that beams what little money this place has to already-rich leeches in nicer cities.”

“…Cyapitalism,” the old Soviet said quietly, as if embarrassed by the cliche. “What of your brother?”

“I sent Lester to escort the little prince home.” Dzerassae was quiet. “Don’t worry, I’ve got him on a leash.”

“Lester is good man. Hard life, common story. He makes you dwell on past, like that idiot cigarette you carry. A test. Yes?”

“Its not a test. He’s committed to the work. And he’s changed.”

“Old habits are stubborn. You both always arguing, it puts us all on edge. You give old lady heart attack.”

“Good. I ain’t paying you people to relax.”

Cyapitalism,” Dzerassae muttered again.

“He’s got that stupid code.” Dallas hated Lester’s code. “Motherfucker spent the last decade mugging people and selling drugs but it’s all good because he follows the code!” Dallas made a jerk off motion. “Oh what’s that Lester? You’d never sell drugs to a pregnant woman? Wow what a bold fucking stance! God I hate it so much, but that’s why I trust him. Consistency. And as long as he’s around me and still drawing breath, its proof I’ve changed a little.”

“So it is test,” Dzerassae said.

“For him! Because the second he steps outta line!” Dallas reached for his gun, forgetting Dzerassae confiscated it. “Hey, over here we have something called the Second Amendment, Z.” She looked at him like he was an idiot. So did a bunch of pedestrians in designer athletic gear. They tipped Dallas off that he was in the right neighborhood.

Sincoke’s wealthy neighborhoods looked uncannily uniform. When Sincoke was up and coming, speculators swarmed like piranha to ‘revitalize’ it. Grey and white veneers were slapped over the bones of old brownstones. Sheet flooring was layered on asbestos-laden linoleum. Thick paint masked crumbling plaster—also full of asbestos. New appliances were plugged into old fuse boxes that were illegal in every other state. Most of these new-seeming homes were uninhabited, because Sincokers couldn’t even afford fake nice things.

There were cameras in front of every house on Zengrel’s block. “Look like a nice man and his grouchy Mother,” Dallas said. Dzerassae guffawed and said she was too old to be his mother. They noticed ‘for sale’ signs, pristine doormats, and overstuffed mailboxes. Dzerassae felt the husk-like aura of empty homes all around.

“We pick whichever,” she said dismissively. “Why they buy homes and never use them?”

“Its for shady shit,” Dallas said. “It’s a middle-of-nowhere privatized hellscape with a criminal police force. Perfect to store your ivory collection, your exotic pets, or the people you trafficked.”

“Hmph. Private island do not have vulnerable population,” Dzerassae said with a scowl.

“I think they like doing it in populated areas, right under the noses of normal people. Transgression gets them off, waving money at boundaries until they break them. I don’t even know if Zengrel and his friends are necessarily attracted to children, I think they just like crossing taboos, and flaunting that rules don’t apply to them. That’s what power does.”

“I do not dwell on their minds. That is for comrade Amy. I stick to patterns. Data. Simple.”

“They don’t have the same problems as us, so they don’t think like us. Once you transcend human problems, you stop behaving like a human. Which is the same as not being one. That’s why you can do whatever you want to them. Like they’re fucking dogs.”

Dzerassae shot him a stone cold look. Dallas was familiar with it. I am watching you, Mr. Avia. My primary allegiance to this cause and I know 100 ways to kill or maim you. Well, he knew like, 20 ways of stopping her.

“Relax, I’d never hurt a dog. God forbid I fantasize about killing the child rapists! Oh Dallas is such a wild guy! Itchy trigger finger Dallas!”


The drive was a nightmare. Sincoke was a labyrinth of roundabouts, eight-way intersections, and sneaky exit ramps.

Fights broke out. Drivers screamed at each other until they were separated by the flow of traffic, then they’d start right where they left off when they caught up to each other. People blasting music left their vehicles to dance in the streets, flipping off everyone honking at them. A man in a $400 jeans shot a pistol at the sky. An old black man in a Gucci shirt paced up and down the breakdown lane in a trance, occasionally making a heart with his fingers, holding it above his head, then slowly rotating by the waist to send love to the swaths of angry, impatient people. Their driver—a plump thirty-something middle school teacher—hyped Lester up and they started throwing loose change at other cars.

Ellis anxiously watched the fare go up. He had intrusive thoughts about people just wanting to be home. Crying. Lonely, overwhelmed, depressed. It was getting to him. He felt a deep sense of injustice, ruminating on Lester at the train station. The teacher had a suitcase full of textbooks and tests to grade. Every time there was a loud noise, Ellis wanted to swing the suitcase at Lester’s stupid fucking head.

They got to Dallas’ apartment complex. It had three floors and was made of bricks the color of mulch. It was on little square patch of dead grass in the middle of crisscrossing roads, isolating it from the dumpy little duplexes around it.

Lester regained his composure as he stepped out of the car. “Big intersection, kid. People blow reds all the time. Careful you don’t get hit around here.”

“I’ll look both ways,” he grunted sarcastically.

“I said don’t get hit, not to be a pussy. We jaywalk here. If people see you on the crosswalk they’ll hit you to put some hair on your chest.”

“Yeah, sure. Big scary city. I’ve fought meth heads at gas stations and I’m pretty sure I’ve pissed higher than the tallest building here.”

Lester looked at Ellis for the first time since the train. “Dallas tries to protect people, so its gotta be me who tells you. I’ve been to every city in this rotten country and I’ve never been jumped on a front lawn ten feet from kids playing in a pool, and the kids don’t even react. Every city has bad neighborhoods—Sincoke’s made of ’em, and you can’t tell them apart from the good ones. So don’t look like a bitch anywhere.”

“Now you’re supportive. Big tough guy giving street wisdom. I know how to handle myself. Now is there a key or something?”

Lester looked at the building wistfully. “Can’t believe I know where he lives. If I knew a couple months ago I would have set it on fire.”

“…What?”

Ellis looked a lot like younger Dallas. Dallas the Lesser Evil, the Shepard, commanding with care. Providing with blood money, placing his iron fist gently on your shoulder. Made sure his customers’ drugs weren’t laced, until they dared to buy from someone else. His girls were shadowed wherever they went. Safer, if they didn’t mind being followed by shadows. The people under his protection felt it weighing on them, like they were caught in a cardboard baler. Everyone lived in fear of him except for Lester. The Wrong Guy.

Then Dallas convinced him to give up the life and go after ‘the real bad guys.’ Am I being lead by crook and cane? Am I one of his guys or am I his? How about his brother? The Shepard was taking in another stray. Promising to save a life, but by taking it over.

“Times change, kid.” But did they? Lester threw Ellis the keys. “And you better look tough because you punch like your brother. Bye forever.” Then he crossed the street without looking either way, miles from the crosswalk.

Ellis didn’t say goodbye. He couldn’t afford taxis out of the neighborhood often so he was anxious to see what was nearby. There was a gas station convenience store that probably had cheap food. He could live on taquitos for a couple weeks before he’d have to ask Dallas for money. Way longer if the attendant was an asshole, because then he could justify stealing. There was a tea shop. Seemed like a place people would be nice to him if he ever had a couple dollars to spare.


“Fake cameras,” Dallas said. There was one on every front door. “Zengrel’s are probably real. Part of his whole sexual blackmail honeypot thing. You were part of that world, right? Kompromat?”

Dzerassae looked at the camera on Dallas’ hip, hidden in a gun holster because Sincokers were comfortable with guns than cameras. “I never left that world.”

They walked past a yuppie couple arguing and struggling with an anxious labradoodle. It was barking at something it could see or taste on the wind. Dzerassae had experienced the supernatural in the Caucasian mountains. She knew what existed in the middle of nowheres all over the world. Doing a stakeout on a wild night was smart, because their targets would be brazen and unhinged. But she worried about Dallas. He was a good man, but wild and righteous, and energy in the air found refuge in disquiet minds.

“House right across from Zengrel looks empty,” Dallas muttered. They walked down the driveway without any hesitation. It was easy for Dallas. Just had to act like he was supposed to be there. He had a lifetime of experience breaking and entering. He used to feel like he owned the world. He still had a general disregard for rich peoples’ property.

“You or me?” Dallas pretended to look for keys. He had lots of pockets, could stall all day.

“You. It is computer lock,” Z said, grimacing at the blue LED light. She was discreetly beaming a laser pointer at it to disrupt facial recognition.

Dallas clocked a plastic rock in a potted plant, scooped it up, and removed the key. Dzerassae raised an eyebrow and muttered a compliment.

A tinny voice emanated from the electronic doorknob. “Hello?!” It demanded. The voice was old, tired, angry. A distinctly working class drawl, the voice of a man who drank beer and watched football. He wasn’t the owner.

“We were told no one would be home,” Dallas said. “You sounded a lot different over the phone.”

“I don’t believe we’ve spoken,” the man said.

“I’m not sure who I talked to. I’m here to photograph the apartment for a contest.”

“Ain’t heard nothing about that,” the voice said. “Not much in the apartment, anyway.”

“The contest is about the bones of a structure,” Dallas guessed he was the property manager; that he heard a lot of new age nonsense from his upper class striver clients. Best to try his patience and make him desperate to hang up. “Its not about spaces that are lived in, its about absence. The home as a structure, and the story that structure tells us.”

He could feel the man’s blank expression over the phone. “I wasn’t notified of this.”

Dzerassae jumped in, playing up her accent because Americans think all Europeans are art freaks. “The owner is trying to hide participation from their partner.” Dallas commended the use of ‘partner.’ Could mean anything. Plus its modern connotations were likely to exhaust him.

“Well it’s not the first thing he’s neglected to notify me about. I’ll unlock the door.” Dallas pocketed the key just in case. “The little guys don’t like strangers. I hope my client didn’t neglect to notify you to bring earplugs.”

The dim light from the streetlamps reflected in dozens of beady black eyes. Dzerassae turned on the lights, prompting a cacophony of chirps, skarks, screeches, and mimicked car noises. Exotic birds batted their wings in feathery chaos. They all had cages bigger than Dallas’ office.

“Oh. Hell. Yes!” Dallas stuck his finger right in the nearest cage.

“Can we please buy van?” Dzerassae pleaded.

“Not in a million years,” Dallas said. “That’s too conspicuous. And too easy. And look at this little guy!” A cockatoo bit the fuck out of his finger, reaching its pointed beak into his nail beds. “Ow. I love him!”

The cages were clean, with boutique silk covers hanging from hooks on the walls. This was a prized collection. Dzerassae looked around. Someone was taking care of these birds. And they might show up.

Part One, The Air is Alive in Sincoke, 3

Earlier that day.

Dallas Avia, owner and leader of Avia Investigative Detective Services, was in his cluttered office, trying to focus on documents the Commissioner leaked him. He wasn’t actually a Commissioner. Dallas couldn’t remember his real title, because a grizzled old cop who leaks documents to cool private detectives is a movie character. And in every movie that character is The Commissioner.

He was thinking about his cigarette today. He could feel it calling to him from his back pocket, where it lived in his fake gold wallet in a little plastic tube from an at-home flu test. It had been there for three years, torturing him. Served him right.

It stopped him from thinking about other things.

Dallas grabbed a handful of hard candy from his antique bowl and shoved it in his mouth. Everything in his office was antique. He had a Grandfather clock, some grandmother curtains, an antique glass case full of old tobacco pipes, sea glass, aged whiskey, model ships, fine china, creepy ceramic dolls, and Native American handcrafts. He thought it projected wealth, class, and professionalism. He collected it from estate sales and thrift stores, most of it for under ten bucks. It looked like grandma’s house.

His desk was made of rare wood from an extinct tree. That’s what they told him. It was water damaged from decades stored in a basement. It used to make the whole office smell like mildew before he tried to restore it—then it made the whole office smell like varnish. Opening windows doesn’t make a difference in Sincoke. You don’t get fresh air, just bugs. The 19CE desk wasn’t designed for a computer monitor and keyboard, so it was always cluttered and he was constantly moving stuff around, which caused him to spill coffee on documents and electronics innumerable times. Only one client had ever commented on the wood.

He read four more words, then got distracted by nicotine again. He bit down on hard candy until his jaw ached. He felt it crush down into the pits in his molars. America, his right-hand woman, came and leaned on the door frame.

“Sup Amy,” he said.

“Throw the damn thing out, Dallas.” She could tell what he was thinking by watching his eyes.

“They always say, ‘don’t give up smoking, its all ya got.’ And then I went and fucking did. Now I just got you guys.” He flashed her an unsettling grin. Dallas had a wide mouth full of implants. They were too big, too white, and too even. It looked like there were too many of them. And he didn’t—perhaps could not—smile with his eyes. He braced himself for another lecture about decision architecture.

“I don’t wanna be your chemical crutch,” she said.

“It’s not a crutch, its a test of willpower! It represents my inner-demons.” He put his feet up on the desk. There was someone’s blood on his purple shoes. “Which I must face. Every hour, every second. Like a mantra!” Dallas made an elaborate, Buddhist-style gesture. He learned it during his time with the monks before they kicked him out. He didn’t know what it meant.

“You’re trying to dismiss me with jokes because at least part of you feels silly, right? On some level you know you’re being ridiculous with this cigarette thing.”

“Please don’t psychoanalyze me in front of the intern, America.” He gestured to Lester. He was sitting on the couch in the waiting room, pretending to read a fitness magazine.

America tread carefully whenever Dallas and Lester spoke. They were still adjusting to not trying to murder each other. It was like having a snake and a mongoose in the same cage. It was her turn to dismiss things with a joke. “Psychoanalyzing you is how we pass time around here. And anyway this case is huge. A lot of people are counting on us to find their children. Can you fight your inner demons on your own time?”

“Alright, alright, take my cigarette away for awhile. But pwease pwease pwease don’t throw it away! It’s a little reminder that I haven’t relapsed. And if I do, the nearest substance will be a fairly harmless little cigarette.”

America’s expression softened. “I’m not sure if that’s necessarily healthy, but at least its not actively self destructive? Kinda proud of you, Dallas.”

“Also you guys will have the length of a smoke break to take me out.” America slumped and looked at him incredulously. Dallas made a finger gun. “Kill me in my moment of weakness. Whoever does it gets to take over the agency. That’s in my will.” It really was in his will. “Gorilla rules. Just tell the judge I needed killing. Les will do it. Won’t you, buddy?” Lester pretended to ignore him, but he tightened his grip on his magazine.

“Won’t you, buddy?” Dallas elbowed in his direction.

“Well, it was nice to feel like you made progress for two seconds.” America held out her hand out for his wallet. He made a big guffaw about handing it to her. Some gold paint flaked off of it. She took out his cigarette and took a moment to pick out all the receipts and candy wrappers he had stuck in there.

“Nooo, not my filth! Also careful with that wallet,” Dallas got serious. “It’s antique spy gear—probably older than Dzerassae—it’s loaded with a single bullet.”

Dzerassae was in another office, looking for patterns in their target’s financial reports. Her face wrinkled. “I unloaded it when I caught you spinning it in the air and catching it.”

“You know what? Fair enough. You Gonna sundown tonight, or are you gonna stake out this pervert’s house with me?”

“You forgetting something?” America said.

“Happy birthday?” Dallas said. She didn’t respond, so he leaned forward towards Dzerassae’s office. “Happy birthday Z! What are you uh, a hundred?”

“Feels like it,” she said. “America is referring to your brother.”

“Oh, Ellis,” Dallas said dully. “I’ll swing by and leave a key under the doormat.”

America closed his office door.

Dallas felt tense. He handled it the only way he knew how. “Oooo,” he said, “Dallas is in troooouble! Wait are you actually mad?”

“You told the kid you’d meet him at the train station,” America said. “Your brother is coming in on the ‘Fentanyl Express.’ It’ll be late, he doesn’t know where he’s going, and you don’t know if he has a phone or any money. Plus I think tonight’s a wild night. We’re due for one.” Sincoke’s weather channels were totally unreliable when it came to wind, erroneously predicting it constantly. They cashed in on the hysteria and mystique surrounding wild nights without ever openly mentioning them. America could reliably predict them by observing how people behaved in lines, or in traffic. “You swore to your mother you’d take care of him.”

“She was so eager to get rid of him, she’d have sent him to live with John Wayne Gacy,” Dallas said. “Or our boy Zengrel,” he gestured to the papers.

“I’m dead serious about this. He’s in your care.”

“Oh cut the umbilical cord lady. He’s like nineteen!”

“What were you doing when you were nineteen, Dallas?” America said, prompting a cold look. People used to shit themselves when Dallas looked at them like that. He caught himself and mumbled an apology, surprised and ashamed of himself.

America was somewhat sympathetic. Ellis reminded Dallas of his younger self, and reconnecting with his family was a huge step for him. As his therapist, she needed to make sure he took that step. He was trying to disassociate by burying himself with work.

“I was a social worker for ten years Dallas. Ellis is a troubled young man and I take that seriously. He needs someone, and you stepped up. Too late to step down. Meet him at the train station, take him out for dinner, and introduce him to his new home.”

“We made all these plans before we knew Zengrel was arriving tonight. If you care so much about kids,” Dallas pointed aggressively at the documents. “You know what I mean.”

“Dzerassae worked for the KBG. She can stake out a house on her own.”

“Why don’t you go meet the kid?” Dallas said.

“Because I have appointments tonight, and because it’s your responsibility.”

“My responsibility,” Dallas said as he drew a loaded gun out from under his desk and dropped it on the paperwork covering his keyboard, “is to rid the world of this fucking monster, America.”

America put her hands on his desk and leaned over his computer monitor. Dallas recoiled. She was often frustrated or exasperated with him, but he’d never seen her this angry.

“No, Dallas, it isn’t. Our responsibility is to stake him out, discreetly, and find the missing girls. That is what we told their families we’re going to do, and that is what we are going to do. As despicable as this man is, you will not pull some macho vigilante bullshit and kill him because of your guilt problems, and your tendency to project yourself onto horrible people. Because if you do that, his lackeys and connections will freak out and cover up their tracks. And then we’ll never find those girls or expose his wealthy enablers. You won’t do that because you are not a horrible person, Dallas.”

“OK, OK,” Dallas said. “Yep. Yes. Good. Please don’t hurt me.”

“No promises,” America said. She leaned back. “This is important Dallas. Get over your shit.” She turned and opened the door.

Neither Lester nor Dzerassae looked at her. They aggressively, intentionally didn’t look at her.

“Dzerassae, I’m leaving early to see clients.”

“Just pay her for the whole day,” Dallas said.

America and Dzerassae shared a look. They both knew the agency didn’t have money for that. Avia Investigative Detective Services didn’t take in much money. Dallas founded AIDS with a mission—to take on missing person cases pro bono. He convinced the rest of them to join him. They sacrificed a lot for it.

Many people went missing in Sincoke. The poverty, the constant anxiety and ennui, the remoteness, the way PR minded city officials kowtowed to the rich and buried bad press, it left a lot of cracks for people to fall in.

Someone had to find them.


Ellis was restless in the back of the cab while it bumped around on some poorly maintained prairie road—the kind where if your car broke down you just died. He kept shifting around, randomly leaning forward in his seat, looking out the window, checking his luggage, then looking around the cab. The back seats were scratched up and there was powdery adhesive around the tears, leftover from tape that must have dried to dust. The window between him and the cab driver was so thoroughly coated in initials and penises that Ellis couldn’t see through it.

“Can I initial the glass?” Ellis asked.

The driver shrugged. “People just do it.” He was emotionless. He seemed like he didn’t care if he lived or died. Ellis didn’t have a pen or a knife and it seemed weird to ask for one.

He was a scrappy kid. A little skinny, messy hair. He had his arms folded inside his baggy T-shirt and the sleeves dangled at his sides as he fidgeted around. His resting facial expression could only be described as “disapproving.” The face an old man makes when he sees his granddaughter with blue hair. He looked like he was ready to fight anyone over anything. It often got him into trouble.

Sincoke was as long way away from the nearest town, with nothing but grass, militia bases, cult compounds, homeless camps, broken-down mobile homes, exotic animal farms, and various other buildings that don’t show up on google maps in between. There was no train directly in. There was no airport. Just roads that shipping trucks barreled down all day, to loading docks on Sincoke’s outskirts. Many truckers waited in the driver’s seat while their haul was unloaded. They refused to set foot in Sincoke, not even to empty out their piss bottles, lest the curse take them and they never leave.

Ellis was moving in with a mystery. Dallas was a legend, a rumor, barely spoken of. Their father, who Ellis knew even less about, kicked teenage Dallas out of the house. He visited once when Ellis was very little and living alone with their mother. Ellis’ only memory with his brother was playing Megaman 2 together.Mom cut him off again, but he resurfaced two years ago, claiming to be off drugs and out of the ‘crime business.’ Mom slammed the phone on him.

Ellis noticed sections of train tracks that ran parallel to the road. They were almost entirely consumed by grass. They passed an abandoned train car covered with graffiti.

“Oh sick,” Ellis lurched forward in his seat and craned his neck to see. “Do people live there? Like, off the grid?”

The driver was quiet for a minute. People didn’t hide in the prairie to do anything good. He’d seen some things. “Just do drugs probably,” he mumbled.

Ellis fantasized about sneaking in, stealing their drugs, and burying them. He imagined saving a girl who fell in with a bad crowd. She’d find him and thank him, then he’d say she had the wrong guy and walk off mysteriously. He started ruminating about his friend Tara. She believed in the curse and was convinced they’d never see each other again. She was devastated and had one of her fits. She came up with elaborate plans for them to run away together. He needed to contact her as soon as possible. He didn’t want to leave her alone.

He fucked up. A week prior, he came home and his Mom’s new boyfriend—a thick-necked asshole who only worked out his biceps—was drunk as shit. He threatened to hit her, so Ellis broke a bottle over his head, because what else was he supposed do?

Turns out he was a cop. Ellis had no idea. Motherfucker must have been the only one in town who hadn’t hassled Ellis before. In retrospect it was obvious. He looked and acted like one.

Their town had less than 2,000 people and for some reason the police had military surplus gear, including two helicopters and a tank. They didn’t raid the trap houses or the drug labs, they walked around the library and the pizzeria dressed like space marines, scaring the shit out of teenagers, jaywalkers, and people nodding out in public bathrooms. They kicked down homeless peoples’ tents and stole their stuff. They were bored and violent. Ellis needed to get gone. Mom arranged for him to move in with Dallas.

He felt like he was being shipped to a penal colony. Mom promised Ellis she’d keep that man out of their life. Whenever Dallas called she’d cry and hug Ellis, then microwave him something. Ellis never felt closer to her than when they were united against his brother. Making them live together was a jarring switch, and he couldn’t help feeling abandoned and betrayed. She said it was for his safety, but wasn’t Dallas also dangerous?

It made him think of the weird stuff. The signs he tried to ignore. She left him alone a lot. She pretended not to notice him sneaking out at night. One time he listened to her on the phone, talking about how the ‘look in his eyes’ scarred her sometimes.

What fucking look in his eyes? He tried to look at himself in the driver’s rear-view mirror, but he couldn’t see past all the scratches. He was being paranoid, she was only protecting him from the cops. Desperate times and all. But why Dallas? How could she break her promise so flippantly? She was happy to be rid of him. He tried to acknowledge this numbly, but his stomach churned like he chugged hot sauce. His Mom had been through a lot.

Look out the window.

Tape on the seats.

Mom, Dallas, Mom, Dallas Mom, Dallas Tara Mom

Check your boxes check your bags you’ve got them all. Check again. Look out the window. Tape on the seats. Mom. No. Yes. No. Something else.

Look out the window.

“Alright,” the cab driver said. Ellis snapped up. He saw nothing but concrete—his first taste of Sincoke. They were in a warehouse loading dock surrounded by shipping containers and big trucks.

“Oh.” Ellis hesitated, unsure if he or the driver were supposed to do anything. The driver just sat. Didn’t even look at him.

“Well, thanks man,” Ellis fumbled with the door, opened it, and set foot in Sincoke for the first time. He tipped the guy ten bucks. Ellis had $60 to his name. He got it by stealing DVDs from Walmart and then returning them. The guy at the counter knew what he was doing, but didn’t seem to care. It was really embarrassing.

“I’m sorry I don’t have more money,” Ellis said. “Feels like a bad tip for such a long trip. I guess I catch a bus or something from here?”

The driver said nothing. He waited for Ellis to unload his cardboard boxes and grocery bags, his backpack, his messenger bag, and his guitar case. Then he drove off, leaving Ellis alone with his things in an ocean of gray. It felt more like the middle of nowhere than the prairie. Maybe one of the workers would help him, but they’d probably just tell him he wasn’t supposed to be there. People were always telling Ellis that. The concrete felt cold, even under the blistering sun. He felt it through the holes in his sneakers.


Alexandra was rubbing her temples behind the bar at the Dark Mother,a fancy lounge basked in blue and purple light, with ornate, Gothic furniture designed by local artists. There was a small stage. A curtain blocked off the back half of the building, which she rented to a dominatrix and a photographer. They called it a speakeasy, because Alexandra didn’t have a liquor license. Though technically she could ‘give’ people alcohol and they could ‘give’ her donations. Legally speaking, it was a performance space and an art gallery. In actuality, it was a temple.

Alexandra was a middle-aged woman with a fit body, straight bangs, and a perfectly witchy hooked nose. She looked the part of a high priestess of Thelema. She was there with her girlfriend Amunet, ‘the best thing she dug up,’ when she worked as an archaeologist in Egypt, and their sisters Loretta and Agatha.

Loretta was a stout, chatty woman, wearing a toga with her left breast exposed. Dark Mother had no rules against nudity. “Do what thou wilt’ and all that. Agatha was an anxious baby witch. She was fixated on looking the part, so she looked like she got caught up in a tornado that passed over a Hot Topic and a Spirit Halloween. She wore a lot of makeup to cover up years of drug use. Magic was an opportunity to replace her old rituals with new ones. Alexandra protected and encouraged her.

“No more intersectionality,” Alexandra said, reflecting on what a mess that was.

That night was an experiment. She invited all of Sincoke’s pagans, astronomers, Satanists, and occultists from every tradition and discipline to come together, to try to channel the destructive energy of a wild night toward something deserving of destruction. It resulted in the loudest, most disorderly gathering the Dark Lady had ever seen. Not every union of egoists is pretty. And Blessed Mother, there were some huge egos in their community. ‘Do what thou wilt,’ meant, ‘be an asshole,’ to a lot of them.

“It was pretty funny when those frat boys wandered in and Steve tried to sacrifice them,” Loretta grinned.

“You tried to sleep with one of them,” Amunet said, trying not to sound judgmental.

“I tried to sleep with all of them. Almost did! Then they heard Dark LordDave talking about cum-eating ceremonies and started calling him gay. Things escalated.”

“You know what? I’ll take Sincoke’s insane, ‘everyone-make-their-own-shit-up’ occult community over that Levay stuff.” Alex said, rallying. “That’s why intersectionality is a bad idea. Whenever we organize, it always leads to cum-eating.”

Essence Consumption,” Loretta mockingly corrected her.

“Speaking of Levay, I found this weird guy skulking outside earlier,” Agatha said. “He was super polite, almost uncomfortably so? Like, weirdly posh and rigid.”

“Sounds like one of ours,” Loretta said, “autism runs strong in this community.”

“I apologize for coming off as stiff,” came a soft, steady voice. A young man walked in. He was a big guy, tall and broad shouldered with glasses, very neatly cut hair, but a messy beard. He spoke and moved very precisely, as if he gave deep consideration to everything he did. He was wearing a black sport coat over a button-up shirt with a tie. He always dressed like this.

“Sergei you are the last fucking thing I need right now,” Alexandra said.

“Forgive me Aleksandra. I am here on a pressing matter, or else I would not disturb you.”

“Go away. You’re not twenty-one, you’re weird, and we’re closed,” she said.

“How old is he?” Loretta pulled her toga over her boob. “Am I committing a felony? Not my first not my last, but ya know.”

“Be not concerned,” Sergei told Loretta, “I have been working on redirecting my libidinal energy towards more worthy intellectual pursuits, such as medicine, psychology, maths matics, and grappling. But, oddly enough, libidinal energy is what brought me here tonight.”

“Really hate where this is going Sergei. Like, more than usual,” Alexandra said.

Earlier that evening, Sergei was reading medical textbooks with a severe and thoughtful expression. He rested his chin on his fist, posing like an Historic Person in a black and white picture. He imagined himself accompanied by a quote. Probably a misattributed one. He had an erection. He wasn’t aroused. He felt a sudden spasm. Uncomfortable, sudden, joyless.

A spontaneous emission, he thought clinically. He closed his medical textbook and placed it on his coffee table, along with books on Gnostic mysticism and Collective Dynamics by Kurt and Gladys Engel Lang. He looked around his room, carefully scrutinizing his packed bookshelves, his weights, his tatami mat, his three computers, his collection of esoteric artifacts, and his large human anatomy models. He was looking for a sign. A clue as to what entered his study.

Psycho-social forces could manifest as tulpa, mental constructs, the things ancient people revered as gods or devils. They weren’t corporeal and they didn’t ‘exist’in the strict sense, but they could effect things. Usually they emerged spontaneously from the collective unconscious. A city full of desperately lonely men could very well birth a succubus. They could also be created—intentionally or not—by an individual or small group. His enemies may have sent something after him. He could have birthed it himself. He was, like everyone else, a slave to his id and his death drive. For now.

With a mumbled evrika, he noticed the head of the male anatomy model was rotated and facing backwards. It wasn’t looking straight ahead. Someone or something was trying to confuse him. It wasn’t a succubus draining his energy, it was an imp meant to distract from the work in front of him.

“But, I couldn’t return to my work, you understand,” Sergei explained to the four women, who regarded his story like a train wreck. They couldn’t look away.

“It’s like we summoned him by talking about cum,” Agatha whispered in Loretta’s ear.

“The head looking backwards could have been a sign that I was missing something,” Sergei said, “perhaps I was being warned against tunnel vision.”

He sought answers. The Pyatnitskovich family had done well after fleeing from the destabilization of Russia in the ’90s. Sergei’s Father was a professor of theology, and they had a tall house in a spread-out neighborhood, with a big enough backyard to build a shooting range. Sergei’s study was in the attic. He climbed out of the window and pulled himself onto the roof.

He stood on one leg and moved his arms around, as one would adjust a TV antennae. The hair on the back of his neck stood up and he shivered as he tuned in to the psycho-social frequency of the city. It was easier on wild nights because the wind carried the psychic impressions further. He felt anger and excitement. It came to him from the endless sprawl to the east, from the built up city center, the rural western district, the forgotten Old City in the south, and the reservation far beyond that. He felt the psychic black hole emanating from the JD Booker Enterprise Building, colloquially known as the Black Cactus. He almost felt his essence being sucked into it.

The city was anxious and anticipatory, like a patient before the scalpel, a virgin bride on her wedding night, someone in a suicide crisis with their finger on the trigger. Sergei felt a chill though his entire body. His eyes opened and he gasped audibly. Something had come to Sincoke. It had been coming. It was here now. Everyone knew it on an unconscious level. And now, something was going to happen. Good, he thought. Sincoke’s stillness was not inherently bad—a bored mind can catch wonderful ideas—but it was due a shake-up. Sergei was a proponent of order, but a healthy spirit requires balance and some things can only be learned through adaptation. The only antidote for Sincoke’s diseased spirit was change.

“Did you change your pants?” Amunet asked, legitimately concerned.

“There was no time,” Sergei said. “I am kidding. My my, long range contact with this force of chaos has me making jokes. Brilliant.”

“Why did you come here?” Alex asked. “I don’t know about any succubi, or whatever.”

“I am looking for this chaotic force,” Sergei said, “so I can ally myself with it, and shape its course. I sensed a strong psychological current emanating from this sacred place.”

Alex sighed. “Sergei, listen, I don’t hate you. I think you try your best. But I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. Ever. And I don’t know why you keep coming here. We’re Thelemites, not whatever weird psycho-drivel you’re always talking about.”

“There is much synergy between psychology and spirituality. What is magic if not–”

“–And if there wassome kind of weird chaos force coming to Sincoke, you are the last person I would trust to guideit.”

Sergei took a deep breath and stared at Alex impassively. “I apologize for taking up your time,” he said. Then he left, looking ahead, focused. If he was offended, he had already forgotten about it.

“Mind like a goldfish,” Amunet said.

“Only thing I like about him,” Alex said. “If only he’d remember to stop coming here until his twenty first birthday.”

The four women continued chatting, but Agatha was quieter than usual. Sergei’s allusions to incoming change stuck with her. She did a tarot reading earlier in the evening and drew Death five times. She convinced herself that she wasn’t shuffling properly, but then she dropped one of her cards while she was putting her deck away. She didn’t need to look to know which one it was.


The prairie felt endless. It was easy to lose your sense of time, distance, and direction, because there was nothing but grass no matter where you looked. It was yellow and brown, sparse and thin, like it grew out of the cursed soil already dead. It looked bright gold in the sunlight, like Dzerassae’s hair 40 years ago. Fool’s gold. Cattle starved to death on it. Sincoke was only useful as a hideout or a battleground. She longed for the lush, frosty grass that blanketed the hills of her homeland. She would not have chosen to spend the end of her life here. Sincoke was Limbo, a spiritual dead end, where old women who served a country that no longer exists were sent to be forgotten.

No one escaped. This was reflected in the prairie, where compasses were known to stop working. That wasn’t the curse, it was interference from the military and CIA headquarters. Some things were magic, others were just intelligence operations. Dzerassae was intimately familiar with both.

She stopped to ponder at some pampas grass, one of the many invasive species in the prairie. Its blades looked like ostrich features. It was out of place like her, in her long double-breasted white and black dress, her head and shoulders covered by a white scarf, and the dozens of knives in decorative holders strapped around her waist and arms.

Her knives were considered culturally unacceptable, but it was fine to openly carry a gun. She guffawed. Why would anyway advertise that they needed a gun? She thought about the thousands of cowboys who died in Sincoke’s old boom towns, and their cowardly style of violence. Americans like murder that’s impersonal. Dzerassae believed it should be face to face. You should have to look someone in the eye. You should have to feel the knife go in. If you could stomach that, it was fine.

An ostrich emerged from the tall pampas grass and locked eyes with Dzerassae. They stared at each other until the ostrich heard the sound of a vehicle and ran away. A Jeep Wrangler pulled up close to Dzerassae. Agent white leaned out of the window. The former Texas Ranger was big, and old like her. He looked like an ad for cigarettes in his suit and 10-gallon hat.

“Now you be nice to the locals there, young lady.”

“It saw this shriveled old face and thought I was one of its own.”

“Now don’t go saying that about yourself.”

“What? I’m old. And you make me walk all the way out here.”

“No one made ya walk. And ya look good for yer age. Better’n me.”

“It’s the cigarettes and red meat,” she chastised him. “I keep telling you—you need to eat melted cheeses with sour cream, and warm bowls of starch.”

“You inviting me over for dinner?” She gave him an angry ‘what do you want’ look. “I’ll waste no time on pleasantries.”

“You already have,” she spat.

“Base doesn’t know I’m here, they think I’m tracking tigers.” He waited for her to be incredulous. “There really are escaped tigers.”

“I know nothing about tigers. I know nothing about anything.” She did her usual spiel. “I have not been in Russia or Caucasus in over thirty years. I have no contacts there. I have told you everything! And in exchange I am still prisoner.”

“We both know that ain’t true. You’re not our prisoner, you’re under our protection. And that’s what I want to talk about, little lady. Buncha old pals have come looking for ya.”

She made a loud, dismissive, bah! “The current regime barely knows I exist. I was mere data interpreter.”

“They called you The Orakul,” White said with reverence, “no ‘mere’ anything. And its not the Kremlin, its one of your old buddies. A mister The Wolf. Ring a bell?”

“I worked for KGB. I knew fifty men who called themselves The Wolf.”

White grinned. “Well, when you catch him, send him our way Little Red.”

“You call me pet names because you can not pronounce Dzerassae,” she said pointedly.

“Got me there. Now maybe while I drive you back to city limits you can tell me a little bit about what you’re doing with Dallas Avia.”

“Mister Avia is nice man who give old lady job!” She spat back.

“We have reason to believe he’s targeting one of our assets for his nutso vigilante—y’all excuse me for cussing in front of a lady—bullshit. Dallas Avia didn’t hire theOrakul to help him with paperwork.Now, I always liked you, but wise up and—”

“Do your assets disappear young girls? I am in hiding because I develop conscience, mister White. Since we are not here on official business, I will say I might have liked you too, if you followed gut and stop being boot-licking CIA crony.”

“Can’t fix things outside the system. Independence corrupts faster than power. Sincoke has seen decades of old-school lawmen and inquests. It just dun’ work. You need checks and balances. You’re Marxist-Leninist, you believe in hierarchy.”

Dzerassae handed him Narcan. “On way back, look out for seemingly abandoned cars and vans. This place is rife with civic irresponsibility. I do not want ride, and next time we talk, keep it on record.”

White seemed dejected. There was some affection in her eyes, and he took solace in that. “We been working together for years, thought I’d do ya one nice. I guess I misunderstood how we were. Apologies for insulting your new comrade.” He rolled up his window and drove off.

Dzerassae had been experiencing a nagging feeling that something was coming. She wasn’t apprehensive, just aware. She knew it would be significant, but no one would know when it arrived. She had wondered what it was; but a looming wolf was a clear sign that a story was about to unfold. She wasn’t worried. Clever girls overcame wolves all the time, it had no chance against a wise old woman. But it couldn’t be her story, she was too old and had already been in hundreds.

Dzerassae practiced geomancy. Everything was a symbol and nothing was a coincidence to her. She looked around and tried to divine something about what was coming by observing patterns in her surroundings. The world told things to those pay attention—and no one paid attention like Dzerassae. There was no difference between data interpretation and magic. Shamans and investigators are both just people who notice things others don’t.

Her homeland spoke to her in riddles and half-truths, but the grass here just babbled. It was white noise, unintelligible, and it distracted her. There was a sudden breeze, and the grass made an eerie susurrus. White’s Jeep left tire marks in the ground. The pampas grass was a ferocious outsider that never stopped growing—even though it could be harmful and no one wanted it.

The grass in the wind: discontent, a million voices speaking out at once, saying nothing. The tracks: there could be nothing more American than a Texas Ranger in a Jeep Wrangler; America, where there was no unity, no concept of common good or even commonality. The pampas: tenaciousness. Her conclusion: a singular figure or a small group would take control of popular sentiment and unrest, and make its mark.

Sincoke was choosing a Hero. Such a force should be guided by an old hand.

Dzerassae noticed a few blades of green grass in the tracks from White’s Jeep. She couldn’t tell if they were uncovered by White moving the soil, or if they’d been crushed under the wheel.

Tyler Kimball, https://www.instagram.com/tylermkimball/

Dallas’ argument with America was very sobering, and helped him focus on his work. This case made him very angry.

Theodore Zengrel was connected to an international trafficking ring. Three years ago he was convicted in California. Four foreign, teenage girls were found at his beach house. None of them spoke English, and none of them had passports. He plead guilty to a minor solicitation charge. The detectives who investigated him were unceremoniously fired, witnesses disappeared, and his lawyers kept him off the sex offender registry by making a big stink about a clerical error.

Dallas wondered how much he paid the DA to fix things. It probably didn’t cost him a cent. Zengrel had friends in politics, finance, and tech. Entertainment industry too, but he was a pedophile so that went without saying.

Zengrel bought a downtown apartment in Sincoke during the tech boom that never happened. He laid low there after California. It was AIDS’ first year of operation, so it was just Dallas and America. Some girls went missing in connection with Zengrel and the authorities refused to look into it, so their desperate parents came to AIDS. America did most of the talking. The last thing those poor people needed was to talk to a guy like him.

AIDS promised them justice, but Zengrel abruptly left Sincoke. Who could blame him? He had apartments in Florida, New York, and a private island in the Caribbean. Tonight he was coming back. Dallas was determined to make good on his promise, even if that meant putting a bullet in Zengrel’s head and incurring the wrath of his billionaire friends. No one looked out for one another like the super rich. It’d be nice to make them feel vulnerable for once. If only it could be that simple though. America was right; this was an opportunity to obtain documents, figure out who his contacts were, and most importantly track down missing people. Only God knew how many disappearances were actually linked to him. Then again maybe he didn’t. Zengrel had friends in higher places than God.

Dallas also wanted to know what Zengrel was doing here. No one came to Sincoke for no reason. Fewer still came for good reasons.

Dallas and America—the more social members of AIDS—did interviews in anticipation of his arrival. Every employee they spoke to, ex or otherwise, refused to give up anything. Zengrel may have been paying them to keep their mouths shut, but Dallas refused to believe that many people could live with themselves not reporting child abuse. They probably just hadn’t seen anything. They could have been intimidated. A lot of his employees were undocumented or had criminal records, people who lived in extreme instability even by Sinkie standards. Also its scary to discover your employer is involved with the Balkan mafia or the Illuminati or whatever.

There was another possibility that frightened Dallas even more. Many of Zengrel’s employees hardly saw him, they just maintained his property while he was away, but they still spoke well of him. He seemed like a generous, patient boss. America watched their eyes closely. She sensed some reservation in their praise. They’d seen hints of something wrong, but they were ignoring what was right in front of them because they liked the guy.

Dallas believed most people weren’t evil, and evil people knew that, so they hid. They operated in nooks and crannies, whether that meant assaulting people in basements and alleyways or controlling their lives from private offices. The later liked to sit on corporate boards or get appointed to arcane government positions so they could make the world a worse place in comfortable anonymity. They have a wider reach, and face justice far less frequently than violent offenders.

The third kind of evil, the people person kind, is far worse. They want power and attention. They want everyone to love or fear them. They’re kind and generous to their lackeys to make loyal little vassals out of them. They sometimes develop real affection for the people who get stuck in their orbit, loving them like you would your favorite screwdriver or your car. They love to start cults, start companies, run for office, or in Dallas’ case run a gang. Dallas had a feeling Zengrel was like him. A man who wanted the people he took from to love him.

Charisma is a gift. Using it to alter reality is evil. Dallas might have hated him more for being a philanthropist than for being a pedophile. Philanthropists are the worst, because they obscure the fact that they control the money, and use it buy prestige and cover stuff up.

According to the documents, Zengrel preyed on young women from all socioeconomic backgrounds. He had procurers, sometimes young girls themselves, seek out poor girls and and offer them money to ‘spend time with’ a lonely old man. He’d manipulate rich kids by promising them scholarships, mentorship, or college referral letters. A family—the Becksters—were bragging that they were hosting him on social media. They were upper middle class strivers who liked to party with rich socialites from better cities. They talked about bringing business and culture to Sincoke, but Dallas got the sense they just wanted an opportunity to leave.

They had a daughter. Dallas wondered how far away this guy could smell vulnerable young women. Apparently all the way from his penthouse in New York.

But who was Dallas to talk? He wasn’t a sexual assaulter, but that’s the only line he hadn’t crossed. There are a lot of ways to ruin a life. How many people had he made dependent on him for drugs, work, protection, or housing?

He was still at it. His employees at AIDS could die working for him. And for what? Anything they dug up about Zengrel would get buried again. His arrest would implicate too many important people. Maybe AIDS could expose a few low-ranking members of the cabal. Patsies. People they could afford to send to prison. Dallas used to do the same thing, rank his followers, made sure they knew it too. His jaw felt sore. He’d been clenching it. Another mouthful of hard candy. His cigarette. He could not let any of his detectives get harmed. He was responsible. Responsible for Ellis. He was bad. Wait who was, Ellis or Dallas? Ellis just got into some trouble. Lots of kids get into trouble. Dallas did. They were a lot alike. One of his. His tribe, or his kind? Ellis would need to be watched.

—had to watch over every

Dallas couldn’t let Dzerassae go alone. She was getting old. He got up and walked to the waiting room. Lester was still pretending to read.

“Lester?” Dallas said.

“Piece of crap?”

“I’m your b- you know what? Yeah, sure,” Dallas said, rubbing his sore jaw.

“Suck too much dick?”

“I need you to pick up my brother at the train station.” Lester, who looked like a henchman from a comic book, gave Dallas a blank stare. “Look, I know we ain’t friends. I wouldn’t ask you for a favor, I’ll keep you on payroll.”

“You don’t have any friends,” Lester said.

“Yours are all in prison.”

“They still count. I’m with my daughter tonight,” Lester said. They were quiet for a moment. They both knew that wasn’t really going to happen.

“I’m glad you and what’s-her-name worked something out tonight,” Dallas said.

“None of your business,” Lester said.

“I want you to know,” Dallas grinned with mock good-nature, “that I can laugh all this off because I write your paychecks. But if-” he caught himself and trailed off.

“But if what?” Lester said, but not too aggressively. He wanted to give Dallas a jumping off point. Lester hated Dallas, because he was a violent psycho but he tried to hide it. He justified everything he did. He was a ‘rebel,’ a leader of the dispossessed. Now the self-righteous atonement shit. But Lester did not want to fight him. They were both trying to leave the past behind. Dallas regretted his combative choice of words, but he was still unwilling to look weak in front of an old enemy. He hated himself for it. He hadn’t changed a bit.

“You big strong men don’t have to show off for me,” Dzerassae said condescendingly.

Dallas exhaled. “Have fun with your kid tonight, Lester.”

“What time’s the little punk gonna be at the station?” Lester picked his magazine back up. “I’m only allowed to see Diega for an hour. I won’t be busy all night.”

“Aw dude, thank y—“

“But you have to say you’re a bitch,” Lester said.

“’You’re a bitch,’” Dallas said.

“Damn.”


Ellis was in a bad mood. He gave someone $4 to call his Mom on their cellphone for directions. She acted distracted, like she couldn’t wait to get off the phone.

He had taken three buses (which had all been late) to the only train in Sincoke. It was a little two-car shuttle, basically a bus on rails, that went through the center of town. The last stop was within walking distance from Dallas’ place.

Every bus driver hassled him about his transfer tickets. He handled them all by being obstinate and asking a lot of questions. He could beat most hall monitors—which is what all of these people are—by being more trouble it’s worth. After seven minutes of arguing or answering questions they usually give up on your bus fair, your late fees, the roll of toilet paper you slipped into your backpack, or whatever else they wanted $4 for.

Life, for Ellis, was an endless parade of people hassling him for $4. Society was built on demanding $4 from people. Want to sit in the air conditioning for a little while? $4. Use the bathroom? Get somewhere? Look around? Eat today? Fucking breathe? That’ll be four dollars.

Ellis’s Mom told him to take everything. His shoulders were burdened by a backpack full of clothes, a messenger bag, and a guitar case. He had shopping bags full of stuff tied to and hanging from his backpack straps. The messenger bag kept cutting across his neck and choking him. It was miserable, especially with the heat. It started getting windy as the sun set and the breeze was a relief.

The rest of his stuff, mostly stolen library books, magazines, a couple comics, and a bunch of CDs, were in musty old cardboard boxes. Every now and then someone would help him carry them up stairs or across the street, but most people glowered at him for taking up too much space. He glowered back and tried to look like a deranged delinquent. Be more trouble than you’re worth.

People don’t want to make a scene. Ellis used that to his advantage, but it annoyed him. A lot of shitheads got away with things because people are terrified of looking foolish or drawing attention to themselves. For example, there was a young man loudly reading bible verses next to Ellis on the train. The kid was wearing a white suit, and his blonde hair was neatly combed back. He stood erect with perfect posture. He didn’t move when the train rocked back and forth, even though he wasn’t holding onto anything.

Everyone was clearly annoyed, but everyone was afraid to be the asshole. Ellis decided to do the right thing. He looked up and spoke through gritted teeth.

“Hey man, can you read to yourself?”

The other boy turned and looked down his nose at nasty little Ellis and his dirty boxes. He looked wildly offended.

“What did you say?”

“I asked if you could read to yourself.” They locked eyes.

“Fine, Devil.”

Predictably, Ellis got more dirty looks than the guy who was bothering everyone. People hated shit-stirrers, he thought, they’d rather just accept their situation quietly. The boy kept reading, now just loud enough so that only Ellis could hear him.

Ellis wanted to flip out at him. He deserved it. Feeling the yoke of public shame, he quietly tolerated it. He opened the window and the sound of the wind being sucked into the train drowned out the preacher’s voice.

Philip K Dude

Part One: The Air is Alive in Sincoke, 1

The Wind blew through Riley’s long black hair. Wind meant trouble. Sincoke was the Still City where the hot, dry air never budged. ‘Nothing Circulates in Sincoke,’ the saying goes.

Except on wild nights.

Growing up in a dangerous neighborhood taught Riley to read the city better than most people can read a room. He sensed he shouldn’t have worked that double, shouldn’t be walking home this close to sundown. He ignored his gut because he couldn’t say no to the money.

His hair made him a target. It either outed him as an ‘injun’ or a hippie liberal, depending on who wanted to punch his teeth in. He was walking too fast to braid it so he stuffed it in his shirt collar. It was itchy but he had to get home before shit kicked up. He felt it coming. He wasn’t worried about himself, he needed to make sure his little siblings were home safe. He started feeling the call of wild nights and sneaking out when he was their age. It’s harder to resist when you’re younger.

The name Sincoke was extrapolated from the Lenape word for ‘Pregnant Land’ though it is anything but. It was always partly cloudy but it rarely rained, so the prairie grass was thin and dry. It was more like a desert with peach fuzz. No one bothered to ask his ancestors why they called it that. Riley always figured it was ironic. Trail of Tears gallows humor.

Eventually even this wasteland was taken away from the Native Americans. Their vague warnings to tread lightly on pregnant land were ignored, like they always are. They were followed by frontiersmen, then oil men, then a tidal mass of poor folk. Industrialists, middle men, and crooks swept in to reap from the vulnerable population. Oil, factories, and meat processing plants fueled the growth of dozens of little boom towns until their borders overlapped.

These suburbs with emphasis on the ‘urb’ were cobbled together during The Great Rezoning into a Frankenstein city of mismatched parts. Every town has a bad neighborhood, and when Sincoke was stitched together it inherited all those towns’ bad neighborhoods. Riley knew them all but he needed to take a direct route instead of a safe route. And it didn’t matter, no neighborhood was safe when the wind blew through it.

The Wind brought people out. They gathered under the setting sun on dilapidated porches, in the parking lots of run-down corner stores, on cracked sidewalks and beneath leaning telephone poles covered in missing pet signs. The mundane looked ominous blowing in the wind, in the light of the orange and purple sky.

Sincoke usually belonged to cars, but on Wild Nights the streets were packed with roving bands of people. The sun was setting and the energy was rising. People were playing roisterous games of Craps in the space between houses and in the courtyards of public buildings. There were people drinking or arguing on every front porch he passed. Every car that passed him was going at least fifteen miles over the speed limit, as if they were trying to clear out for the people.

Every couple blocks some guy—or a group of guys—would watch Riley. He’d stare right back. He kept his body language relaxed and confident, not picking a fight but not backing down from one. A tiny piece of him wanted one. His hair itched in his shirt collar—he wanted to yank it out and let it blow free. He knew it was just the energy in the air getting to him. He resisted it, but it stayed in the back of his mind. Nagging at him.

He was distracted by a guy on the other side of the street being chased by a woman holding a rubber mallet when a mug came crashing out of a nearby window—right at his head. He dodged it and glared in the direction it came. Just a couple having a blow-out fight. He looked down at Garfield’s shattered face. He noticed the litter on every curb and wondered how much of it was Garfield merchandise.

It always surprised Riley when people broke or threw anything out. Even before his father’s injury his family couldn’t afford to waste anything, and that was typical. Most of the factories closed in the ’90s, and most of the meat processing plants moved south of the border. There was investment in a tech boom that never happened—Sincoke wasn’t ready for the knowledge economy, and no amount of PR stunts by city leadership were going to change that. Sincoke gave away ungodly tax breaks and grants to big firms, and after that didn’t pay off it had nothing to offer anyone at all; even to the poor and desperate. People and money stopped coming to and from Sincoke. The Still City. Sincokers, or Sinkies, are stuck in a city in the middle of nowhere, with nothing to do and no money to go anywhere else.

No Circulation in Sincoke.

Shoulda listened to the Lenape.

“Well well if it isn’t my ancestral foe,” roared a deep drawl from behind Riley. “How’s the air up there Standing Stork?” It was a stupid insult but he delivered it with venom.

Riley stopped and met the gaze of a short, stocky, older cowboy. He was bow-legged, wearing nothing but jeans, a long mustache, and a ten-gallon hat with the namesake horns of a Texas Longhorn sticking out from holes on either side. He had a big hairy belly and a flabby chest, but bulky arms. His neck was incredibly thick and muscled, probably from wearing those horns around all the time.

Of course Riley cashed his paycheck earlier that evening, and he was carrying a couple hundred in cash. He didn’t want his family to have to choose between hot water and his Dad’s pain medicine again, so he thought about booking it. Other people gathered to heckle and watch. If they saw him run he could never walk around safely again.

“You been watching too many movies, pardner.” Riley said, strolling towards the man to meet him in the street.

“Don’t pardner me, you tall bitch.”

Laughter erupted. There was a crowd forming. ‘Flagpole gon’ fight Willy.’ Riley heard someone refer to him as ‘The Alfalfa Street Longhorn.’ People watched from their front steps and lawns—good people who would have stepped in and broken things up on a normal night. But on windy nights everyone loses their minds.

The man stopped just outside arm’s length and tried to act intimidating. Riley stared him down. He looked like he had been crying.

“Whoa.” Riley softened and looked concerned. “Hey man–”

The Alfalfa Street Longhorn couldn’t handle seeing sympathy on another man’s face. Before Riley could ask if he was OK, he roared and started beating his chest like a gorilla.

The man kicked out and dragged his bare foot across the cracked sidewalk, like a bull getting ready to charge.

Most Americans don’t know anything about Sincoke, but its notorious among conspiracy theorists, occultists, and true crime fans for random, explosive crime spikes. Could be something caused by the special forces and intelligence units headquartered in the prairie. Could be caused by the numerous fringe religious groups or political militias that operate in the area. Could be whatever the Lenape say the land is ‘pregnant’ with. Could be boredom. Could be a city-wide psychological event—a periodic mass hysteria.

People say it’s something in the water. Sincokers like Riley knew something was on the wind. It transferred an infectious energy that sent people looking for trouble. The itching became too much and Riley tugged his long black hair free again. He could see the pulse in the other man’s temples. If I back down and look weak, Riley reasoned, I’ll never be able to walk this neighborhood again. As if he needed any more justification, the wind blew the feather of a prairie chicken towards him. He caught it and put it behind his ear.

He didn’t need a reason suddenly.

“He Beat His Chest,” by Kenneth Steven Janes, https://www.twitch.tv/scrunklebunglo, https://soundcloud.com/kenneth-steven-janes

Lester Guerra waited outside of his ex-girlfriend’s apartment. He noticed that people were crossing the street to walk on the opposite sidewalk, which frustrated him because he was making an attempt to look less like a mean son of a bitch. He stopped shaving his head, just had a thick mane now. He wore long sleeves to cover up his deeply offensive tattoos—which was difficult because he ran hot, around 99 degrees. Sometimes 100.

He felt 101 at that moment. He was angry and appalled by the shithole his daughter was living in.

The little boom towns that would become Sincoke sprouted up organically—like tree roots or cancer growth—and when they were forced together the lack of urban planning was apparent by the jarring lack of public transit and the obtuse layout. The small government extremists who dreamed up Sincoke in the 19CE would have loved to see it. Contemporary libertarians certainly did. Sincoke was vast, spread out, and lacking everything that makes cities fun and convenient to live in. It was more like a giant strip mall. A flyover metropoless that most Americans couldn’t point to on a map.

Sarah brought their daughter to one of the thousands of awful little towns that Sincoke absorbed, kicking and screaming. No buses stopped there and Uber drivers charged extra to drive out of their way (the market at work!). The streets were in ill-repair. There were no stop signs or street signs, just the bent metal signposts they were torn away from, and the faded remnants of white lines on the road. Jesus Christ, he thought, Diega is gonna get hit by a car.

They lived in a two-story house converted into two single bedroom apartments. Diega better have the bedroom, Sarah and her new man—if you can call him that—better be on the couch Lester thought. The siding was coming off and there was a broken window covered up in cardboard. It was considerably nastier than his halfway house. Lester had hid from the police in nicer places than this. It looked like a drug den. May as well have had a red light out front.

The house was across the street from an abandoned lot overgrown with prairie grass, with a rusty old car sticking out of it, its front half buried into the ground. If Lester knew one thing, its that patches of grass in neighborhoods like this are full of needles, condoms, and ticks. They better not be letting Diega play in that grass.

Anger churned his stomach. He started counting things like Amy said, but it was too late. His face got white hot as blood rushed into it and made him dizzy. He tensed up and his stomach and throat burned like he chugged battery acid. Lester always experienced anger suddenly, violently, and physically. He compulsively threw his arm back to swing on a parking meter. With extreme effort he stopped himself. It felt like holding back a sneeze.

He grabbed his phone to check if his ex canceled on him. The screen lit up for a split second, then suddenly died in his hand. He cursed and mashed the power button but the phone felt cold and limp. It was a brick. He Gritted his teeth and squeezed it. He heard the door behind him open.

Lester always had mixed feelings when he saw Sarah. She was heavier now. She looked tired, unwell, worse off without him—he was sure. She also looked pissed at him.

“One hour. Got it? One.” She stood in the bowing door frame. Her new boyfriend mean mugged him from the top of their staircase. Tough guy, standing behind his woman. Real smug for a fucker who lived in a house with a missing ceiling tile in the stairwell and loose carpet on the stairs. Jesus, Diega could slip. What was this asshole even good for?

“Sure, sure, yeah,” he kept his back to them and talked over his shoulder. He didn’t want to glare back at tough guy and start anything. Not this time. “Little trip to the pizzeria. Some ice cream. Couple rounds on the claw game, maybe win her a stuffed animal.” Classic deadbeat Dad date.

“No claw machine. You’ll freak out and bust the fucking glass. And if I call, you answer,” she said pointedly. Pointing at him.

“…My phone, uh. My phone broke.”

“Nope,” she said, turning around.

“Holy shit, I can give you the number for the pizzeria. It’ll be fine.”

“NO!” She turned and hollered. “What happened, stubbed your toe and threw your phone through a wall?”

“Sarah!” He growled and stepped towards her, before catching himself and stepping back. She shot him a look. He knew exactly what it meant. You’re still a fucking psycho.

“Or did you throw it through someone’s head?” She hissed, before slamming the door as he stammered an apology.

He took a deep breath and tried to walk a couple blocks away before freaking out. He knew it was coming and he couldn’t stop it, but he didn’t want them to hear it. They would love that, wouldn’t they?

He angrily clutched his phone in his pocket. This was all its fault anyway. Something felt off, there was a dent. He looked at it and realized that the plastic was warped and caved in the shape of his fingers. Like it melted between them.

Cheap piece of crap. He blanked out, started running, then wound his arm up real good and spiked his stupid fucking phone into the concrete. It bounced off the sidewalk and into a house, denting the siding. It wasn’t satisfying and he kind of felt bad for it.

He just wanted to buy his daughter a slice of pizza. He was always incredibly unlucky with electronics—every computer, TV and appliance he’s ever owned just conked out, bricked on him. They wouldn’t let him use the microwave at the office. But it hadn’t happened in a really long time. Why tonight? It was so hard to convince Sarah to let him see their daughter. The wind blew a plastic bag in his face, and he began punching it to shreds.

He sat on a curb and tried everything America taught him to calm down. He counted three things he could see. The awful conditions my daughter is living in. The people crossing the street to avoid me. The empty void in my pocket where my stupid phone used to be. Three things he could hear. The sound of Sarah slamming the door on me. The judgment in her voice. The brief sound of my daughter’s voice in the background. He started to feel sad, but that made him mad. Three things he could feel. The tight feeling in my chest. Heat in my wrists. The swift breeze.

That explained it. Sarah being particularly bitchy, the relapse with his anger management problems, the pedestrians being particularly avoidant of his scary ass. It was a Wild Night. Of all the luck. A dark thought crossed his mind. After he picked up Dallas’ little brother, maybe he’d let it take him.


Sascha was doom-scrolling to distract from the tension emanating from outside her room. She had her laptop on her chest and her head propped against a pillow at nearly a 90 degree angle. It was extremely uncomfortable but she couldn’t will herself to move. The central air didn’t work and it was hot, but her skinny legs were super hairy so she kept them tangled in the sheets to stave off the dysphoria. Her mass of wavy orange hair was greasy and tangled, and her pores were clogged with old makeup. Her bedding and shirt were crusty too, more sweat and skin cells than cotton.

She had literally no reason to take care of herself. All of her friends and classes were online and she couldn’t stream anymore. She had committed the ultimate sin of being a woman on the internet who talked about video games. Also she was trans and an a-rab! Well, she was Persian-American (thanks for the dark leg hair, Dad!) which is a distinction these fucks can’t make. She was immediately chased off the internet by harassment, hate speech and people asking for feet.

She only left her room to use the toilet or to grab snacks, which she would sneak back to her room like a scavenger dragging a carcass to its feeding ground. She had to be strategic about when she bathed or did laundry. If she left her room for too long one of the Ternionmight leave literature in there, and that almost always lead to an explosion. It had been three whole weeks since their last blowout. Not their longest oppressive silence but they were gunning for the record, bless them.

She had a feeling they weren’t going to make it. She heard three sets of footsteps outside her door. Usually they settled and performatively ignored one another by the early evening. Tonight they seemed agitated. Likely trying to goad one another into a fight.

So Sascha scrolled. She needed all the dopamine her feed could give her. None of her friends were online to take her mind off of it or offer her reassurances. It made her feel lonely and isolated, and contributed to the ominous feeling of impending doom.

Suddenly she hit the bottom of her feed. The algorithm couldn’t generate any more op eds and hot takes. Impossible! Suddenly she realized friends weren’t offline, she was.

Internet access in Sincoke was notoriously bad. SinCast was the only network provider in town. They had no incentive to deliver good service, and no local talent to provide it anyway. Sascha’s phone got no reception in her windowless room. The lack of service made her suspect it was windy out.

She closed her laptop and disassociated while it went cold on her chest. She had a witchy friend in Portland, OR who believed in Sincoke’s Wild Nights. Sascha used to think magic evil wind was fake, but the Ternion were always worse when the air moved.

What was she in for.

Sascha needed a distraction. She dug her old CRT TV and a Sega CD out of the closet. It was under a pile of boots with broken zippers that she kept telling herself she’d fix. There was a video capture card hanging from it, a remnant of her streaming days. She plugged it into the over-burdened surge protector under her desk and emerged with dust and a loose coin stuck to her arms.

She bought all of her old consoles secondhand and broken, and resurrected them with household objects and a little ingenuity. With manic energy, she jury-rigged a replacement power plug using a dirty fork from under her bed and replaced frayed wires with a bread tie. It took an hour. She held her hands together in prayer while waiting for it to boot up. Come on, my little zombie! And it started. She built a big throne of pillows on her floor and settled in to warm her heart with some retro games.

The nostalgia wore off in fifteen minutes and she started ruminating on the footsteps again. They grew louder, more frantic, more agitated. It sounded like they were wearing tap shoes. She could identify them by their footsteps. She tried to focus on gaming but kept getting swept up by the ominous feeling. A blow out was looming.

Whatever was coming would be a relief from the tension at this point.

Suddenly, something fell over. There was a soft thud. One of her Mom’s endless racks of leggings. Her precious ‘products’ that covered the whole house. Everyone had to navigate around them like a labyrinth.

There was a ‘these fucking things,’ and then a, ‘watch it!,’ then a clothes rack went flying across the apartment and crashed into her door. It scared the hell out of her and she froze.

Things hadn’t escalated that quickly in awhile.


“What’s the last thing you noticed?”

America MacCabee was on a video call with a patient. She looked at herself in the upper right hand corner of her screen. The lighting and position of her camera were arranged to accentuate her high cheekbones, so she looked attractive and capable. Her expression was focused and impassive. The light made her skin look a little brighter. It helped sometimes with white clients.

She tried not to move because it made her background glitch. She stole the image of a sunlit, tidy office with plants and bland beige decor off of Pinterest. It masked a sparse old townhouse covered in piles of dusty records and reports. Her bed and kitchen counters were stacked high with stained manila folders and old hardbound textbooks. Half evidence, half patient records, almost no personal belongings.

It was all very well organized though.

Her patient was extremely poorly lit, like he was video calling from a black hole. His eyes were empty. “I was just thinking the stuff we used to do. Parks, arboretums, friends. And like after he went crazy—I know it’s problematic to assume that. I know it took two. But everyone noticed he changed.”

“The last thing you noticed is that his behavior changed?”

He thought for a moment and his eyes lit up ever so slightly. He glanced to the left, which was associated with pain from the past. “I used to do things.”

“I want you to notice that. Don’t think about it, don’t judge it, just notice. Ready?”

“Never,” he said. She laughed professionally then turned on the balls. Two little footballs bounced around the screen. Up and down, side to side, corner to corstopping. Abruptly. Then

staying

.

still

.

Then mov i n g s l o w l y

America carefully watched his eyes as he processed his trauma to deduce where his body was storing it. She got caught up and followed the balls herself, then started thinking about the open file behind her. Coming up with a psychological profile of their target had been extremely difficult. She spoke to a lot of people with missing kids. She also spoke to surviving victims, so she knew exactly what was happening to their sisters and daughters.

She somehow managed to keep a straight face. Focused and impassive. When the balls stopped, her patient was crying. He looked directly into the camera. His eyes were very lively and he said,

“I have nothing. I feel dead.”

Nearly all of her patients expressed this at one point or another. She nodded empathically. “OK. Good. I want you to notice that.”

“How can I not?” He threw up his arms. “I fucking leave here at 5AM to get a parking spot for work, I pack boxes all day, then I come home and play fucking video games for like an hour. I used to have a partner. I used to have a life. Now I might as well be fucking dead.”

“Drudgery and loneliness can cause trauma.” Most of her clients were suffering from years of stress and boredom. Poverty in Sincoke was rampant. People worked long hours for little pay, or didn’t work and got a pittance from public programs. There was nothing most people could afford to do. “It’s called chronic trauma.” Ego death by a million cuts, one missed payment or weekend alone with Netflix at a time. It was happening to everyone, and she could only help the ones with insurance.

“What do I do about it? And what if he needs me?”

“Right now we’re just going to notice these feelings. You need to process. Focus on—”

“Fuck that!” He said. “This is all fucked. I had a life.” Before she could tell him to notice that,he signed off.

Not a terrible session, considering his issues with repression. And she wrapped up early! She had ten minutes before her 8PM patient. She got up to stretch, then turned on her phone to read some advice columns. They used to be her guilty pleasure but now she wrote for one, so it was technically market research. Turned her only hobby into a side hustle. Tsk tsk.

When she turned her phone on it buzzed for a solid minute as dozens of missed messages poured in. Clients. The messages were dire and weird, even from people she’d been making progress with.

She felt overwhelmed as more and more came through, but she lost it when a selfie came through from Dallas. She was still so mad at him. He was grinning like a jackass in a dark room across the street from Zengrel’s mansion, with the accompanying text, ‘here at neverland ranch 2.’

She chucked her phone onto her couch and exhaled deeply. Must be great to wave your gun around and make stupid jokes. It’s just a regular ol’ western revenge thriller when you don’t have to talk to grieving parents. Her phone buzzed with more messages and she put her head in her hands. She was one woman and there were hundreds of thousands of people in her city. She could only help one person at a time. And even then she could only help them cope. She couldn’t actually change anything.

There were limits to the individual approach towards mental health. But it’s not like there was a collective solution. Society wasn’t changing anytime soon.

She put herself together and picked up her phone. She swiped Dallas away, but she instinctively noticed his eyes were positioned slightly to the left. She ignored it—his appointment wasn’t until Thursday at 7AM. He had plenty of her time, and other people needed her right now. She scrolled through to find the most urgent and dire ones, and noticed a message from a contact she had named DO NOT RESPOND. DO NOT EVEN READ, GIRL.

She thought about it. Why not? She was always little miss perfect. Always level-headed, always responsible. Why shouldn’t she be a messy bitch for once?

The thought seemed to come from outside of her. It felt alien, something within her mimicking her inner voice. Another voice—her own this time—said: because too many people rely on you, Amy. As an empty gesture, she opened her window for some fresh air. She was surprised when she actually got it.

That’s why she was off her game. Sincoke’s wild nights were mass psychological events. People feeding off of one another, group dynamics. The wind was incidental. It triggered unusual behavior because people believed in it. Or maybe just because it felt different. She was worried about her patients. She was worried about her fellow detectives, and Dallas’ little brother, and whatever was going on with DO NOT RESPOND, DO NOT EVEN READ, GIRL. Another bitter voice carried on the wind asked who’s gon’ worry about you, Amy?

I am, she said, in a defiant inner voice. She sat down, looked at herself in the upper corner of her screen, and logged on for her 8PM.


He wasn’t there today.

“Rebecca.”

So what are y’all into?

“Bex!” Rebecca’s Mom snapped. She was a thin, petite, intense woman with angry, anxious eyes. Her hair was bleached so she could dye it however their guest liked it. She was wearing expensive yoga clothes so that no one could accuse her of relaxing unproductively. Her clothes were all new, without so much as a worn waistband. “Head in the game!”

Rebecca Beckster snapped to attention. She and her Mother were facing one another in an empty room. Her Mom was in an office chair, Rebecca was in a small folding chair designed to torture her. Her butt hung over the sides and the cold metal dug into her thighs. She was a big young woman, tall with wide shoulders and hips, a bit of a belly, and a head too big for hats. The chair was part of her training. It forced her to shrink.

The movers, shakers, and innovators of this era were optimizers, minimalists. Highly disciplined professionals, academics, and entrepreneurs that put every calorie and every movement to good use. Their distaste for Rebecca’s generous peasant body wasn’t about aesthetics or femininity, it was about efficiency. They liked people who were like consumer electronics. Small and smooth. Size was decadent and wasteful. Rebecca learned to sit demurely and act in ways that made her seem tiny. She was good at it. People never noticed she was tall unless she stood next to them, so she tended to stay seated or stand far away. The boy in the park (who was so tall!!) hadn’t notice her height until their dogs pulled them next to each other. He seemed to like it. She rewarded her poodle later with table food.

She had a printout of their mark’s Wikipedia article on her thighs. Her Mom had flash cards with things he was interested in. She held up one that said ‘effective altruism.’ Her mother raised her eyes, expectant and impatient.

“Uh, it’s like–”

Uh?!” Her Mom said. She leaned forward. She was always leaning towards Rebecca. Like she was always ready to lunge.

“It’s like–” she cringed and started over. “It’s using logic and reason to optimize the effects of your good deeds.” Her Mom watched her expectantly. “It involves… Thinking Globally.” Her Mom looked approvingly at this, but expected more. “Putting money into wisely selected charities, neutralizing existential threats, prioritizing people in the future,” AKA using hypothetical people who don’t exist yet as a justification for ignoring people in the present, “setting your emotions aside and approaching moral conundrums with a cost/benefit analysis.”

“Sell me on the fact that you believe in Effective Altruism.”

Rebecca froze and looked around self-consciously under her Mom’s gaze. She felt really pressured, and suddenly very fed up with Effective Altruism, a concept she found pretentious and tedious. “If there was a kid drowning I’d let it, but then I’d sell their organs to pay for lifeguards.”

She surprised herself. “Can I just act fascinated?” she asked, before her Mom could chastise her for being snarky. “Wow! How do you know what’s going to happen in the future? That sort of thing.”

“Rebecca, this man is a Billionaire. Billions. He earned that money, and that’s why we trust people like him with it. You should be happy that someone like that is trying to maximize the good he can do with it. He knows how to best spend his money, that’s self-evident.” Rebecca just nodded. Her Mom was doing a great job pretending she’d internalized Effective Altruism. “Don’t you want to be around people like that? Important people don’t come to Sincoke very often Rebecca. Don’t you want mentorship? Opportunities? Don’t you want to matter?”

“Yes,” Rebecca said automatically. She held up the papers with a determined expression. “I’ll read more.”

“You better.” Her Mother stood up to leave the room. She turned and walked to her daughter as an afterthought and ran her fingers through her hair. “This is our chance, sweetie. You’ve got this.”

Her Mom exited into the hallway, mumbling about what they should rename their dog to suit their guest’s tastes. The hallway was empty, gray and tan. They’d lived in their home for years but it looked like contractors just flipped it. No pictures, decorations, no personal items. It was a blank slate they could decorate to suit their guests, then tear it all down after dinner.

A breeze, and something with it, came into the room through the open window. Rebecca tried to focus on her Wikipedia pages but she was distracted. She tried to imagine what she would put on the walls.

Rebecca ran into Riley during a stroll through the heavily manicured Memorial Park in Center City. She was wearing jogging gear to fool her Mom. She couldn’t get caught going on a stroll. For what, fun? Everything had to be enriching and serve a purpose. Memorial Park was designed with that in mind. A lot of research and effort was put into maximizing nature’s effect on Wellness. The result was a stressful, bland place where a lot of people with email jobs walked to signal their virtue.

That’s why she was so surprised to meet him. He looked out of place, like a big, comfy sweatshirt on a rack of boring gray suits. He was the only other person who didn’t look like he had somewhere to be in ten minutes.

She was walking their unnamed poodle, he was walking a shaggy black mutt named Sitting Dog who never sat still. He approached her. He said he almost never came to Memorial Park, but he showed up on a whim. Then they started ‘running into each other’ daily. They both knew it wasn’t an accident.

He had a ton of interests in art and niche media, and he had a big fun sounding family. Rebecca was trained to be a great passive conversation partner. She knew how to keep the ball in the air, when to raise her eyebrows, when to laugh, when to say wow! She always learned just enough about whatever she was supposed to talk about so that she could fake engagement. She didn’t know anything about tokusatsu or sword and sorcery, but he talked about it in such a cute, enthusiastic way that she enjoyed herself. He didn’t over explain things. Here was a skilled active conversation partner, someone who wanted her to enjoy listening to him. And she did. She didn’t have to fake it.

And then he fucking ruined everything by asking her what she was interested in. Her training failed her for the first time. Being asked about herself felt like falling off a horse. It knocked her out of character. She didn’t realize she was in one.

She knew what the last dozen people her parents had entertained liked, but she couldn’t answer for herself. Ever since then her brain had been mush. It didn’t help that Theodore Zengrel was like if you put all of her parents’ marks into a blender and poured the off-white, flavorless paste on top of unsweetened porridge. Works in finance—whatever that means. Patron of the arts and science—aren’t we all?

All of her parents’ marks owned somethingtech and made an i-something, or had a plan to disrupt something with an app that did something. Or they worked in finance, which means they got rich by moving richer peoples’ fake money around. She started flipping through the packet looking for his company name, a benefactor for his philanthropy, his hometown, anything she could bring up to prompt him to talk more—as if he wouldn’t just do that on his own. There was nothing her brain could latch onto. He was working on ‘big things’ and came from ‘humble origins.’ No one was this nebulous.

She realized, with horror, that she was. What did she do? Who was she?

So, what are y’all into?

Right now it was Effective Altruism. For as long as her family needed her to woo this mark. But her eyes glazed over it all. She just couldn’t pretend to care. Why was the packet so thick if no one could name what this guy did? She skipped ahead and her eyes lit up when she realized 60% of it was the ‘controversies’ section.

Her potential mentor. Rebecca did not like this.

Deanna Littner, https://www.instagram.com/deannaerislitt/